Absence from my blog!

The last time I blogged was about my new car back in August. I took it this weekend for the first time out of town to Phoenix. Roxxie ran like a champ and my friends and I had blast at the Sansom's installation service and afterwards at Cheesecake Factory.

My life lately has consisted of trying to get a new wheelchair, trying to find a job while filing for unemployment, late night rounds of bejeweled on Facebook, and trying to quiet the drama that is my life these last few months.

Tonight Brother Mark Brown preached from South Dakota and although I cant quote to you very much of his interesting sermon I can tell you what I got from God at the altar call. My Facebook status reads: "Never let anyone make you feel inferior because of what you look like, what your family last name is, what your current relationship status is set to, how much money you have in your bank account , for the position or title that you may or may not have, or for the number of candles on your birthday cake this year. There are no orphans of God. He loves everyone equally!" There are many times when I have allowed others to make me feel bad about my life. I've allowed them to make me feel like a failure or feel as though I would never be good enough to do anything great in God's kingdom. I decided to rebuke that thought and not let people's cold words or actions dictate how I feel about myself. It isn't important how other's see me, whats important is how God seems me! When Samuel and other's saw merely a shepherd boy God saw a great King! Its not over till its over!

The New Car!

Since I was 16 years old I had always dreamed about owning a Mustang. My parents both owned them when they met. Mom's first car was a '68 green Mustang and my dad owned a blue '65 Mustang. My mother sold her car to her brother and my dad to buyer out of the classifieds. Years later my uncle gave my brother Eddie mom's car back and he has been restoring it ever since. I remember my dad trying his sense of humor on me one Christmas by giving me a minature Mustang radio as a present. Finally a few weeks before I graduated from High School I bought a beautiful V6 Atlantic blue Mustang with light gray interior. I was 17 and could not believe I had a car but not just any car, the car of my dreams in my favorite color. I can still see my mom taking canola oil from the kitchen and anointing it and praying that God would protect me in it. I drove that car for 11 years and in the 3 accident I had none of them were serious and I left without a bruise. I took that car with me to the University and to Bible College in Jackson, Mississippi. My friends and I did many road trips to New Orleans, Memphis, and on chorale trips to Alabama. I cried a lot tears in that car when I felt like my heart had just been squashed. I prayed a lot of prayers while that CD player blasted out my favorite choir tunes. I had many serious conversations with friends and a tons of laughs that I will probably remember as long as I live. There were many late night fast food runs and trips to Starbucks for Passion Iced Tea Lemonade when I felt stressed. It was a faithful car and had its battle scars to prove its loyalty. It never had a major break downs until just a few months ago. Things just started snowballing and after awhile I almost didnt feel safe driving it. I had to get another one.

After going to a dealership here in Tucson, searching online, and talking on the phone with salesmen in frustration I finally found her. I named her Roxxie when I went to pick her up at the dealership in Tempe. Roxxie was a bright lips stick red 2009 Mustang with the same gray interior as my blue one. As my old car and my new car sat next to each other on the parking lot I couldnt help but feel so blessed. God knew what I needed and what I could afford. After 11 years I was getting another car that I was just as crazy about as my first one. It was still bittersweet driving off with my window down seeing my blue car quickly leaving my range of sight but it was a new day and time for a change!

Seriously?!?! Is it already August??!?!

It's insane how 2009 is more than half way over! I am really am thankful because God has been good and is doing great things in the lives of my family members and at Faith Tabernacle Church. As of a few weeks ago I started playing the piano in Spanish Church. I think I always kind of figured that I would just be someone who would teach others to play the piano and not really play myself. It seems that God has other plans and I am excited about being used in God's kingdom. I believe there are going to be many souls won in our Spanish Ministry and I dont think it will be very long till we have a blow out service just like we do in the main sanctuary on Sundays!!

I have been having such a great time hanging out with my older church friends. We have been going to starbucks in the middle of the week and just talking and laughing till after midnight. I can't thank God enough for the wonderful friends He has put in my life!

I'm still writing my book and am believeing it will be finished soon. I know its what God wants me to do its just been an uphill battle. I believe this will be the key to unlock the will of God in my life. I just have to finish doing my part. There are a lot of changes about to take place in our church that will affect a lot of us but I pray they are good changes and everything works out for the best! The future is bright because Jesus Christ our Saviour is the Light!

Happy Birthday To Me!

So I survived my 29th Birthday Monday! Can you believe it? 29!!!! Its just insane! No doubt I am thankful to have had such an amazing life but most of all to have Almighty God be in it! I really am blessed to go to such a great church and have such thoughtful friends. A couple of us got together at the house and had some pizza and cake. It was last minute but it turned out great.

Last week was Arizona District Sr Camp. I was a counselor again for the third year in a row. Bro Darin Sargent preached and it really felt this year like I was 16 again back when I was a camper. It was a tradition it seemed that every year at camp there was at least one night when God would move so strongly that the preacher wouldnt get to preacher. Monday was the first service and God moved so strongly that Bro Sargent almost didnt preacher. Then later on that week God completely took over and ministered to so many. This year in particular I felt like my needs were being met and I was being ministered. It seemed like every service there was something inside of me that just felt like crying and pouring out my soul to the King of Glory. There were so many fun times too like the night us counselors silly stringed the girls in the dorm. So far this 2009 Senior Camp goes down as being the best so far.

The Wedding

I recently attended Shawna and Anthony Allen's wedding last Saturday. It was a beautiful ceremony but the most amazing part about it was I was able to see a lot of people I hadnt seen for years. Shawna's uncle Robert is married to my aunt Maggie so I have known Shawna since she was 2 years old. My mom and her mom have been close friends over the years and they are actually the ones that conspired to get my aunt Maggie and uncle Robert together. I got to see David and Cindy Woodrum and their kids. I had never seen Jasmine and she is 8 years old now! David used to be my Sunday school teacher. I believe he is still teaching at Brother Haney's church in Stockton. Belen and Roy were also there and believe it or not when I was 2 years old I was in their wedding as the flower girl. That was before my accident so I have pictures of me still walking in a cute pink dress with a halo of flowers on my head. We all attended Brother Croy's church at one time and that's where our roots are. Sister Croy who is related to the groom was also there. She is as classy as she has always been. It was great to see the pastor's wife I grew up with. So many memories!

Dont date a loser

Don't settle for a loser
The first guy that comes your way.
For the one that has no job and on every date makes you pay.
After the first date when you have to treat for pizza.
Make sure its his name that's really on the visa.
Dont be so desperate just to be someones wife.
That a after the honeymoon you regret it for the rest of your life!
If hes been engaged three times and married twice
Don’t be the next fool that gets hit by the wedding rice.
If all the loser wants is for you to help him support his six kids and be his sugar mama
Don’t be the idiot that gets caught up in all that baby mama drama!
If he is bilingual, illegal, and always wants to be in control.
Remind him that you ain't afraid to dial the number to the border patrol!
If you just met your man after he posted bail
Make sure you are ready to write your next check out to the Pima county jail!
If the guy has a job that pays him under the table
Make sure you check his records because he is probably not mentally stable.
If he is too young to drive you on a date.
Be ready to spend the next 5-10 years because of your jail bait!
Don’t settle for a loser that in life wont go very far.
Go for a guy that has a career and doesn't drive his mom’s car.
I'm not saying you have to be a gold digging girl.
Just don’t be deceived when a guy says he can give you the world.
Looks wont last long, they will in time fade away.
Go for a guy that has depth and that wont eventually turn gay.

Arizona Campmeeting

This past week I attended Arizona Campmeeting. Sadly I was not there long enough and the one actual service that I did go to there was no preaching. God decided to do His thing and it was exactly what I needed! The choir sang "I've Gotta Feeling Everythings Gonna Be Alright!" I remember the same thing happened at Campmeeting in 2003 and the place came unglued!

There were some high moments and some low moments but overall I am thankful I was able to attend. I got to see some of my Amazing friends at the lock in and hung out with some of them at Cheesecake Factory Wednesday night.

The Cruise!

So on this cruise I got a little wild! We rode the roller coaster and I couldnt believe I was so determined to ride it that I flung my legs over the top of the seat and dropped myself in. You would not believe how many bruises I now own! hahha. Aimee and I did Aretha Franklins RESPECT for Karaoke one night. I chased down a guy who looked liked Waldo and took a picture of him. I had fun doing the Hand Jive and making up pizza dance moves. I ate 3 lobster tails and shrimp one night at dinner and ordered chocolate and cheesecake from room service at 2 am. I had a great time and got some rest in the middle of it all as well.

Post from the Sea

Hello...I am writing from the Carnival Elation somewhere off the coast of Southern California. We will be back in San Diego tomorrow and I should be back in Tucson by the evening. I have had the most Amazing vacation. God really knew how much I needed it! I miss my dog Simba but I am sure he will be super excited to see us tomorrow. Aimee and I have had fun watching all the drunk people do Karaoke and taking pictures of the guy in the striped orange shirt Eddie called Waldo! The food has been soo great and the free room services we have ordered almost every day has been a treat! I dont know how we will ever go back to everyday life again! hahah..Pictures are soon to come!

My Heart Decieved Me Yet Again

Its like I cant even breathe
In a moment I actually have forgotten how.
The sudden pain in my chest is overwhelming
There is this sound in my head that wont stop ringing.
I cant keep my mind focused on anything I do
It just seems so unfair that in my life I cant have you.
I keep reaching but you dont reach back to me
The more I try the more I mess things up and become more unhappy.
I feel tortured or at least thats the way it tends to seem.
And no matter what I do being good enough is nothing more than a dream.
If there was something I knew to do surely I would find a way to get it done.
But you dont even have a clue and in your world the earth still revolves around the sun.
To you everything is as its always been.
But I can not be content with just being the friend.
I hate that my mind has labeled you Amazing and has decided to still go on this journey knowing how it would end.
Knowing that I could not let you go.
Knowing you would hurt me over and over again.
Knowing my feelings for you were out of my control.
So I take a step back.
I give you the space I feel that you lack.
I refrain myself from doing what my heart desires to do.
And that is spill my soul and tell everything to you.
In the end what good could become of it all?
When I knew my eyes had decieved me and I would eventually take this fall?

M.I.A.

Soo..i have been M.I.A from my blog for quite sometime. So here is what has been going on with me...

First of all I am going on a cruise May 24th! My family and my dear friend Aimee, and Bro and Sis Zamorano will be going to San Diego and Catalina Island for 4 days on Carnival Cruise line! I have been on a cruise before so I know it is going to be amazing!


There have been tons of church functions going on lately. First it was District conference, then Youth convention, and last Saturday was Uplink in Casa Grande. All three were pretty amazing. I have to say though that I just want to relax for a while! I have been having great fun with some of the new members of our church. Life over all is pretty Good. God has blessed!

I seriously need to finish writing my book. I have everything I need just lacking the motivation! Lord help me with that!

Pictures

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Wedding

These are some pictures from Sis Monica and Peter Ferriera's wedding today. My brother Eddie was in the wedding.

Picture of the Youth Group

Randomness!

Soo...our youth group went to the Pima County Fair and we encountered this Llamas and we had to take a picture because my brother Eric is always asking guys how many llamas he would have to pay to give them my hand in marriage. Its a pretty hysterical joke if you ask me. PJ has the picture of the two of us actually in front of the llamas. I'll see if I can put that up.





This is a picture of Simba Eric's dog and my grandfathers female named Blanca. We brought her over for a week and we believe there is going to be puppies! We keep laughing because the joke is that Eric is going to be a grandpa! The picture is blurry because its from behind the sliding glass door.



Here is PJ and I at the Fair and some random guy in the back.

Seasons

Do you remember when black and white polka dots were in style? It wasn't that long ago when most Pentecostal girls were sporting this new trend. I bought this amazing shirt at one of the department stores and paid a little bit more than what I normally would have because I figured I would get a lot of use out of it. I did in fact wear that shirt including the matching headband and purse to many Sunday night services and youth functions. The other day I came across it in my closet and realized I had forgotten all about it. I haven't worn that shirt in months! Its still amazing but I have gotten myself into the zebra pattern and the other day I bought myself a cute skirt and hounds tooth purse on Ebay! That seems to be the latest thing but I have a feeling it wont be for long! Something else just as brilliant will be along to replace it in the fashion world. I don't consider myself trendy but since my mother has been on my case to stop wearing what she considers my "grandma clothes" I have tried to look as presentable as possible. She commented the other day on the fact she was proud I am starting to dress better. Well that just made me feel a bit better.

So I was thinking the other day how my life sometimes is like this huge world of Fashion trends. Things are never quite consistent. One style comes and another goes. My life is always changing no matter how at moments I feel like its mundane and motionless. Its more like what the scripture calls Seasons in the book of Ecclesiastes. A few months ago I was so ecstatic with things that I wanted to take all those amazing instances and freeze them into a little jar so I could keep them for always. I didn't want anything to change. Now those moments have pasted and its a new day. Everything is different now and its not necessarily bad or good, its just time for a new season, a new trend to make an appearance. There are people that I was super close to and now I hardly talk to them. They have kind of been replaced by other friends and other experiences. It doesn't mean those friends or experiences are gone forever because most trends tend to make their way back in the fashion world at sometime in the future.

No Other Name

Our annual Easter Drama No Other Name is coming up again and its sure to be as amazing as always!! There's lots for me to say right now but I have engrossed myself in Facebook so I havent put much thought into my blog sadly. Hopefully a real post will follow soon!

Another Night At Mimi's

Just wanted to add some new pictures from Sunday night at Mimi's. Dont ya just love my new flower!??!?! Here's my dear friends Amy and Anya and Issac and myself!

Home Missions Service

So I just got home a couple of minutes ago from a Home Missions Service in Phoenix. Bro Carlton Coons preached and our choir did an amazing job! We had a blast in the van and here are a couple of pictures from the restaurant.

first one is of : Aimee, Me, Sarah Pierce, and Ben
second one if of me and DeOnna
third one is of Jovi and Sarah Strong
fourth one is of Ben and Isaac
fifth one is of Bethany and I

Spanish Ministries!

So one day I happen to go into our Sunday morning Spanish service because the preacher that was preaching in the English service was extremely long winded. That sadly is the honest truth. (okay so I'm a heathen! lol) What I didn't expect was for me to actually like it and to want to come back the next Sunday but I did. For the last couple of weeks I have continued to go to the Spanish services and I have been so blessed. God had started to give me such a burden for Spanish ministries. I was never really a fan of Spanish music either but one of the Brothers in our church gave me this CD of Marcela Gandara and Jesus Adrian Romero and I am hooked! I found myself almost crying in my car the first time I heard it because God was ministering to me through that music. So next Sunday I am going to sing in the Spanish service! I'm really excited about what God is going to do! Ohh and our Spanish choir just got asked to sing at the Spanish General Conference in Denver, Colorado in June! I have never been to Colorado or to a Spanish conference like this so I am totally psyched!! God is soo Good!

Thankful for God's Protection

So tonight on my way home from shopping at Kohl's I had a tire blow out. I was on the I-10 and if you don't live in Tucson you probably don't know that there is a stretch of freeway that is under construction where you are not able to get off. There are about 6 exits that are closed and sadly I was in the middle of them. I was in the right lane when I heard something pop. I didn't pay much attention to it until I felt the right back tire dragging. I knew it had blown but there was nothing I could do but keep driving. After almost 11 years of having my car I don't think I have ever had to use the emergency lights so I had no clue where they were. I slowed down a bit as cars and semi's drove pasted me. I finally got off the 1-19 exit and pulled over. After calling my mom I realized that no one would be able to get to me unless they went all the way around the freeway. The closet exit was Ajo Way and since I had already driven my car with my tire practically gone I figured I could keep going. I pulled into the nearest gas station remembering that my cousin Yvonne lived in the area. My mom was coming to pick me up because my brother and dad were at play practice at the church across town. I was alone and it was already dark. It wasn't the nicest place in town to be so I called my cousin to see if I could leave my car at her house. She said it was fine so I tried to make my way back on to the road. The only thing was I got lost trying to find the house. I had been there times before but I was in such a panic I had to call her again to ask for directions. My mom beat me to her house and said she could hear the loud clunking noise from down the street. After getting off the car I went around and was shocked to see I had been driving on my rim. After getting in my mom's car and feeling safe again I knew that it was by the Grace of God that nothing happened to me. I was on the freeway with no way out. I could have lost controlled and killed myself or someone else. I got home safe and even though its going to hurt my wallet to get it fixed, everything will be fine!

Remembering David

Sunday March 10th, 1996 was the day that my 19 year old cousin was suddenly taken from the world. I was 15 years old and up until that point no one close to me had ever died. His death involved a gunshot and a drug deal gone bad. The entire ordeal took place blocks from my house and after that our lives were never the same. I loved him just like any girl would love her older cousin and although it has been 13 years since that day, I still can't help but wonder what his life could have been. Our lives are only but a vapor!

I Thank You Lord

You are the reason why I wake up every morning.
You are the reason that I can carry on.
Because without your love and mercy
There is no hope in this life for me.
That's why I'm thankful
Thankful that you died for me

You are the reason why I can walk calmly through the valley.
The reason that I can sleep at night
For without your hand holding mine
I would have no peace of mind
Thats why I'm thankful.
Thankful that you love me.

I thank you Lord
I thank you Lord.
There arent enough words to say
How great you are
Or how much I appreciate
That you would go so far
To die on Calvary
Just for me
Just for me
I thank you Lord

"Grease" continued....

The pictures is hard to see. Its of us inside the theater with our programs in hand.

Grease is the Word!


Soo... I picked up Yvonne a little after 6:40pm. As she was sitting in my passenger side I kept waiting for her to put on her seat belt. I hesitated but finally asked her to put it on. She had no problem with it. She told me her husband David tells her to put in on all the time. Then we get off the frontage road and before we get to 22nd the traffic is crazy. I brake and almost hit the person in front of me, But the person behind me didnt brake and rammed into me! ughh..it scared us half to death! But we pulled over and there wasnt but a scratch on my car thankfully and none of us were hurt so we just exchanged information and rode on our way.

We got to the ticket booth and then I decided I was thirsty so I bought a Sierra Mist. The sad part was the soda was $4.25!!! ohhh..I got ripped off! oh well. I skipped any souveniers after that! lol Our seats were in the front row and I noticed two reporter guys Dan Marries and some other guy that works with him. Cant remember his name. They were sitting in our same row.

There was kinda this pre-show deal where the big wig deejay at the High School dance off Vince Vauntine came out and sang a little and tried to get the audience going. I was like...whatever! Start the show! The beginning was really dramatic with Frankie Valli's "Grease" song and the number the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies did.

Danny and Sandy were not so attractive or as good of singers at Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta. Yvonne was impressed with the girl that played Rizzo. I was a bit disappointed because the scenes were different, some of the songs had changed, and at times things were completely out of order from the original Grease.

I was very excited to see Taylor Hicks as the Teen Angel. If he had been on American Idol that night he would have still won because he really was the best vocals of the night. He wasnt bad looking either. I was kind of shocked at myself for even thinking that. LOL At the very end Taylor Hicks came out and did one of his songs on his latest album. Yvonne and I laughed and called him DenJuan. That was our thing because he looks like a cross between Dennis Uecker and our cousin Juan "Johnny" Garcia. We were joking about waiting until he came out to try and get his autography then yell out "DenJuan"!!!! It would of been hysterical! Yes, we are a little crazy!

So, anyhow... although I am not 100% sure it was worth my $67 Yvonne and I still had an amazing night!

I'm Going to see the Broadway Show Grease!!!

Tonight My dear cousin Yvonne and I will be in our front row seats seeing the very popular broadway show Grease!

Walk By Faith, Not By Sight

I saw my mother walk into my hospital room one night. It was dark but I could see it was her. She didn't even look at me. She just marched on through to the next bed behind the curtain to my right. She stayed there for quite a while and so i figured perhaps she was tired and decided to take a nap in that empty Intensive Care Unit bed. It was so unlike my mother to ignore me in that manner. Here I was her only daughter who had just endured three back surgeries within the past week and she didn't act like she cared. After what seemed like an hour I became concerned. I started to yell, "Mom, Mom!" There was no answer. I kept screaming for her in hopes of waking her out of whatever deep sleep she was in. There was still no reply. I began to panic. Maybe she had gotten up and left without me even noticing. Could it be possible that even with my eyes wide open I missed her? I can't even describe the deep loneliness I felt that night with machines monitoring my every heart beat and I.V.'s running through both arms and my neck. The tears started streaming as I realized something was wrong. My mind just couldn't pull itself together to figure it out.

Days later when the heavy medication had wore off and I had caught up on the three nights of sleep i had missed, I realized I had been hallucinating. My mother didn't walk through my room that night. Yes my eyes were wide open but there was no curtain or even a bed on the other side. I was in a room all to myself. My brain had just been so diluted with pain medication and my body broken from fighting for its life that I was seeing things. Everything looked so real and even today I can remember what I saw that night in detail. The truth was my mother loved me and she would never ignore me. She knew how much I needed her at that moment and she would never intentionally hurt me that way.

Sometimes when we are going through a dark place in our lives the enemy will try and make us believe that God doesn't care. We call out to the Lord in prayer but we don't hear an answer. Our emotions can overcome us and we start to believe that God is ignoring us. How could He leave us all alone? Our minds are so diluted with the cares of this life that we start to think things that aren't true. Often it isn't until we come out of a trial that we can see that His word hasn't changed. "He will never leave you nor forsake you"... When morning breaks we then see that the one set of footprints in the sand where when God carried us. Just like my mother would never act like she didn't know me, I know my heavenly Father would never wouldn't pass me by either. We can't panic when things aren't going our way. When we can't see God working in our situations we still have to just trust Him! His promises do not change no matter what we may see with our mortal eyes. "We walk by faith and not by sight"...

Soo..all this talk about being single..has me thinking!

I went to Mimi's with a young couple after church tonight. We always have interesting conversations. It usually involves the latest of who is interested in who and what couple is finally dating. I of course at this moment am as single as a dollar bill and it doesnt help right now that my heart was crushed recently. Still, I have always felt like if I just trust God and wait on Him that He will bring the right person into my life. Well, I have my thoughts that you should marry the person that God wants for you because if you don't you could really mess things up. I don't believe a minister can just marry anyone or at least I don't think a minister should. My friends are of the opinion that no matter if you make a mistake and marry someone out of the will of God that somehow He can fix it and it can be just fine. I understand that and I believe that God can correct our mistakes but if that is necessarily true does that mean I can just marry anyone and it will be okay? What is the point of waiting on God for the right one? Have I just wasted my time? I don't know. It just throws my brain in complete overload. I suppose that's why God wrote in Isaiah that His thoughts are not our thoughts neither are our ways His ways. Soo..I've heard people with different opinions and still may never make sense of it all. But if you think you might have a good explanation please enlighten me!

I thought this was a interesting article... :)

This is from NinetyandNine.com

Top Ten Things Said to the Single Church Girl

By Chantell Smith

10. “Do you think you can help out with ______?” This is a question asked of the single church girl because it is assumed that since she is single, she has loads of time to do whatever needs getting done. She doesn’t mind pitching in, but sometimes, in the back of her mind, she wants to respond with a question in kind: “Do you think I have a life, too?"

9. “Next, it’ll be you!” This is said as a result of many of the single church girls’ friends getting engaged, married, etc. She is pretty good-natured about it, saying, “You never know” with a wink and a half-smile.

8. “Honey, don’t you worry. The right one will come along.” This is said to the single church girl at random by well-wishing old ladies. She often wonders if she’s projecting an invisible “I’m worried that the right one won’t come along” aura.

7. “One of my best friend’s cousins knows this guy . . . really nice guy who I think you’d love to meet.” This is one of many attempts to hook the single church girl up with some “really nice guy.” The idea of getting hooked up is not particularly appealing to her, though. She has this idea that things will just magically happen.

6. “Why don’t you and ______ get together?” This question is often asked of the single church girl as to why she doesn’t go out with some single guy in the church. She could answer this many ways, but usually just smarts off with, “For the same reason you aren’t getting together with him.” That usually draws a quizzical look and she just smiles.

5. “Oh, God, give her the desires of her heart, Lord, bring her that mate you have prepared, Jesus.” This is sort of an extension of number 8, also given by well-wishing old ladies, but usually spoken over the single church girl while she is quietly praying and minding her own business during altar call.

4. “Why don’t you pray God will help you find that man so you can settle down and have one of your own?” This question, meant to be taken in jest but usually received in irritation, is asked by someone who is observing the single church girl making cooing noises and baby talking to a happy child she is playing with. The single church girl usually responds coolly, “The Bible says ‘he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing,’ so I’m not worried about finding him. He’s supposed to be looking for me.”

3. “So, do you have a boyfriend?” This one is normally asked of the single church girl by either someone she hasn’t seen in a while or by someone she is meeting for the first time. She hasn’t come up with any cute ways to answer that one yet.

2. “Why?” (Since the answer to number 3 would be “no.”) The single church girl still can’t figure out why people often follow up with this question. Like she knows. Her first impulse is to say, “You tell me,” but that would be kind of weird, so instead she shrugs, and sheepishly answers, “I don’t know.”

1. “Enjoy it while you can.” A married person wishing they had the time and energy and freedom to do what the single church girl can do in her unattached state often says this. This statement is often followed with, “Cause once you get married and have kids . . .” The single girl nods in understanding. That’s one thing she doesn’t need to be reminded to do.

ninetyandnine.com

© 2006, Chantell Smith

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Chantell Smith is a second year Spanish teacher who is currently living la vida single. You can catch her goings-on at Where You Can Find Me

http://www.ninetyandnine.com/Archives/20060821/ephemera.htm

My Valentine's Day Present!

This is what my Secret Prayer Sister got me for Valentine's Day! I have No clue who she is but I Loved the gift! If you know me you understand that I have a huge fetish for black and white pictures of Famous Architecture. God Bless my Secret Prayer Sister! She made my day!

Broken Blessings...a fictional story

The alarm clock read 5 am when the annoying blare awoke Annika Blythe from her sleep. She groaned as she slipped her left had from under the covers and lightly tapped the snooze button. Just 15 more minutes she thought. It has only been two hours earlier when her mind finally allowed itself to doze off to sleep. Annika had mid-term exams in two days and being the exceptional student she was, every opportunity was spent studying. She also hadn't missed a night of revival services that week or any hours at her job at the hospital. Her slender frame was being pushed to its limits but she knew she only had one more semester till she finished her degree in Nursing, and for that she figured it would be worth it.
The aggravating noise of the alarm sounded again and this time she had to get up. Annika pushed back the covers and jumped to her feet almost stumbling over her bible that had somehow fallen off her night stand. She bent down to pick it up and then heard another familiar sound. It was her cell phone and on the other end was the gorgeous voice of her stunning fiance Riley. "Good morning beautiful!" Still half a sleep a smile slowly emerged from the corner of her lips. As she placed her phone back in her purse she couldn't help but feel so incredibly blessed to have such an godly man in her life. He was everything she had ever prayed to the Lord for and by this time next year she would be Mrs Riley Thatcher.
The cold water from the shower quickly brought her back to her present day. She had so much to do. Her 7 am class at the University begged for her attention and as soon as she got herself dressed she was out the door.
By noon her stomach was aching with hunger pains as she climbed in her car to meet Riley for lunch. As Annika pushed open the door to the quaint Italian cafe, she saw him seated at their usual corner table. His blue eyes glistened like sapphires as he smiled and stood to greet her. She breathed in the distinct fragrance of the cologne she had bought him for his 25th birthday 2 weeks earlier. "How was school?" he asked, "stressful" she answered, "But its almost over!" "I'm worried about you Annie", as he liked to call her. "You look like you haven't has sleep in ages. You need to take it easy or you will make yourself ill." "I know, I know", Annika sighed lowering her eyes in guilt. "I promise after these mid-terms are over in 2 days I will make myself relax!" With a bit of concern still written on his face Riley reached over and grabbed Annika's hand from across the table. Then Riley gently released his grip as the waitress came to their their order.

"I still can't believe you don't have your colors for your wedding picked out yet! You are one strange bride!" Kristen exclaimed. "I don't have the time nor the energy to think about all that stuff. I have school to finish and work at the hospital and besides we aren't getting married until almost a year from now. I have plenty of time Kristen!" "But being your sister and your maid of honor, I feel its my duty to help you with all this stuff." "Kristen, don't but me now. I have to start studying. Its only March. You can bug me about it after graduation in May." "Fine!" Kristen shouted as she hurried out and slammed the door behind her. It just seemed that no one understood how important her schooling was to her. Annika had always envisioned herself as a nurse and helping sick people recover from their ailments. seemed like a noble profession. Secretly Annika had dreamed of going to under developed countries and helping out missionaries in their work for the Lord. She figured perhaps one day. She had also hoped to have the highest grades in her class and graduate with honors. So far it was looking in her favor and all those sleepless nights were about to pay off.
As Annika crossed the room to grab her back pack, she suddenly noticed her reflection in her dresser mirror. She stopped and turned, shocked at what she saw. For the first time in months she took a careful look at her self and examined her countenance. Her deep green eyes almost looked sunk in or maybe it was just the dark circles that made it seem that way. She knew more and more of her hair seemed to be getting left behind in her brush but she figured that was just a weird coincidence. Something just wasn't right. No wonder Riley seemed so concerned this afternoon she thought. I'm a mess! I've got to sleep tonight after I come home from church. I think I have studied enough today.

To be continued.....

Happy Valentines Day!!

Happy Valentines Day! To all of my lovely single friends..We will survive!

Hopeless to Beautiful

"Every time I see you, my heart just goes out to you."

Those were the words that escaped the lips of a sweet and well-meaning lady i met at a district conference. She was clearly referring to the opal-blue wheelchair in which i was sitting. She meant no harm yet i could not help but cringe as I deciphered the deep hopelessness in her eyes. The truth was I did not feel hopeless; God had done some incredible things in the last twenty-seven years of my life. Although this dear lady had seem me many times, she did not really know me. She did not know my story.

Twenty-four years ago on a festive Christmas Eve afternoon, my three-year old body was struck down by a white pickup truck. the driver, my fifteen-year old uncle, was unaware that I was playing in my grandmother's backyard behind him. In a moment, my life was changed, never to be as it once was. The accident caused permanent damage to my spinal cord, and my family was told I would never walk again.

Fortunately for my family and me, this was not the end of the story. God used this tragedy as a vehicle to cause my parents to turn to the Bible for comfort. They had both been raised in a denominational church but felt there had to be something more than they had experienced. After weeks of Bible studies, my parents went to church, were baptized in Jesus' name, and received the Holy Ghost! Later, my two brothers and I had the same experience as well and came into a relationship with Jesus.

Sine the accident, the Lord has taken me on a winding journey. I have undergone several surgeries and many physical challenges. through it all, God has been there as my comfort, holding my hand and never letting go. I know God is able to heal me, yet so far He has chosen not to remove the "thorn from my flesh." I have determined to be content with my circumstance and do the best I can with what God has given me.

Despite my physical limitations, the Lord has prospered my life with talents to use for His glory. i am extremely blessed. I drive a sports car, I have attended a university and Bible College, I have traveled across the United States as well as overseas, and I sing and play the piano. God also laid it upon my heart to write about my life and so a few years ago I wrote my first book Famous In Battle. While I was attending Bible college, God opened up many doors for me to give my testimony and minister to the hurting and the broken. I found it a privilege to be used of God.

If it were not for God's love and mercy, I do not know what would have become of me. I am thankful He turned my hopeless situation into something beautiful for His kingdom. and I know that the best is yet to come!


*This article appeared in the March/April issue of Reflections Magazine.

"I Believe"

So many nights I've cried praying, Lord, please change my situation.
Take this pain from my soul.
I'm trying so hard to be patient
But often life gets the best of me.
But then I hear you whisper in the darkness
My child, don't get discourage. Take my hand and believe.
I'm working it all for your good. Even though you cannot see.

I believe
I believe
That eventually everything will turn out right
Cause you are the God that cannot fail
The God that cannot lie
And even though my impatience may get the best of me
And my answers are so out of my reach.
I trust you Lord
And I'm going to hold on!
You said you would never leave me alone.
Lord I believe

Sometimes we don't understand what God is doing with our lives.
But we must remind ourselves He is always on time
God is always faithful
Always true.
No matter how dark your night may seem.
Know that He always comes through

Weeping may endure for the night
But joys gotta come in the morning light
The morning light.


*While sitting at my piano in the our living room and pouring my heart out to the Lord the words to this song came to be about a year and a half ago. It has ministered to me over and over again. I finally got brave enough to sing it on Sunday night church service. I was also privileged to sing it at Arizona Ladies Retreat this past August. Hopefully if God will's at some point there will be a CD made of this song and a few others that the Lord has allowed me to write for His honor and glory!

Heart Broken

What do you do when everything you have hoped and prayed for suddenly dies?
When you are standing at the tomb of your dreams and realize you have believed a lie?
When you cant choke back the tears that stream to the floor
When your heart cant find the strength to believe anymore.
Does the pain ever go away?
Does time really heal all things?
Will there ever come a day when you will smile again and your soul sings?
Is it possible that your heart can be broken beyond repair.
So that when love finally knocks at your door you find it impossible to care?
Must we just accept that something things are just not meant to be.
That we can do all that we can but in the end still not reach the place where we are truly happy?







p.s. If all of you lovely people who come to visit my blog could sign my guestbook it would be appreciated! God Bless!

~Lorraine

Reality!

After a while there comes a point in every ones life when they realize that Santa Clause doesn't actually exist, that the Easter bunny doesn't deliver baskets full of hard boiled eggs on Easter morning or that the Tooth Fairy isn't the one that puts dollar bills under their pillow in exchange for fallen baby teeth. Often times little children are broken by the fact that what they were told to believe never really existed in the first place. Eventually they get over it and never think about it again.

So today as I sit here in my living room with my laptop staring back at me, I realize I am just like those little children. I believed in a fairy tale for so long. I put my faith in a world where true love won in the end and good always prevailed against evil. I imagined that it was really possible for the girl to ride away in the sunset with a handsome prince where they lived happily ever after. But then you wake up and all it is is a dream. Reality is much different. Reality is dealing with the fact that life isn't always fair and life is often full of heart aches and disappointment. Not everyone falls in love and lives happily ever after. Am I a cynic? Perhaps today I am. Or perhaps i am just a realist who understands that you just have to deal with life and live it the best way you know how. You have to stop lying to yourself at some point and just be content with what is in front of you. Everyday is a gift from God but its also a gamble. You never know what lies in front of you. All you know is that He holds your hand through the good and the bad.

So last night I made a promise that I would not lie to myself anymore. That I would be honest and make the best of everyday I am given and not allow myself to live in a world of delusion. I am going to live today and everyday in Reality.

Recap of January 2009

There is so much I have forgotten to say about the events that have transpired this month.

Every year my family throws a New Years Eve party and we usually have an incredible time. This year was no different but I think we had more people this year than we ever had. We did the traditional prayer at 15 till and then our shot glass toast at midnight with Apple and Grape cider. Sadly after taking my shot of White Grape cider I broke my favorite Hurricane shot glass that I had bought 5 years ago at the Skydome in Toronto, Canada. I guess its time to get a new Hurricane shot glass!!

The next morning was the first day service at Conqueror's Conference. Bro Philip O'Bryan preached and it was incredibly anointed and encouraging. He talked about the fact that we cant see the end from the beginning. Only God knows what He is doing in His time. From that service I took and memorized the scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:12 that reads "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but Then shall I know even as also I am known."
Brother Tiller did an amazing job delivering the Word every night. Friday the choir sang the "Can't Stop Praising Him" medley. During the part when it goes into "I won't turn back, I won't turn back, I won't turn back now" I really got the revelations that I Can continue on this race living for God now matter what comes my way! Bro Tiller also said something that night about if we are living for God we can be sick, but we are still saved, broken hearted but we are still saved, lonely but we are still saved,.... Those statements really struck a chord in my spirit. No matter what the circumstances are it doesn't matter. All that matters is that one day I make it to Heaven and see my Lord! We have to press on!
Also on Friday night Bro Tiller had us pray for our Pastors. My church family came up to the platform and prayed for our pastor Rev Paul Conner. Afterwards I hugged my Sis Debby Conner and then Pastor came down and took my hands and spoke to me telling me how much he appreciated me. I told them I loved them and was thankful they are a part of my life. I have always loved my Pastor and his wife but somehow in that moment my love and appreciation for them was renewed. I left with this new respect for them. I will always remember that!

Some other news...I went back to work at H&R Block for the tax season. I bought a laptop with my tax refund money. Aimee and I are going on a 7 day singles upci cruise to Jamaica, The Cayman Islands, and Mexico in October! We put down our deposit this week!

My dear friend Sabra got married today in Mississippi. I was asked to be one of the bridesmaids but unfortunately because of the high cost to fly I was unable to go. It pained me to not be able to be there for my bible college buddy on her very special day. Perhaps it wasn't meant for me to be there after all. I pray that God blesses her and her marriage!

SO last but not least. On this last day of January the most Amazing lady in the state of Arizona, Sis Mabel Combs from Casa Grande, passed from this life to the next early this morning. I will cherish every little conversations that I have had with her through the years from Senior Camp this past July to endless Ladies Retreats and Conferences. Her lovely voice singing praises unto the Lord will always be etched in my Spirit. She "Made it After All". As I was helping my mother in the kitchen this afternoon I had my IPOD in hand and on my play list was "I Can Only Imagine" I thought of what Sis Combs was doing at that moment in heaven. Was she standing in Awe of Him? Was she dancing and shouting? Was she singing with the Angels? What ever she is doing now I am so happy for her and she will be greatly missed! I can't wait to see her and all the other Faithful saints like Bro Croy, Bro Cai Larsen,and many others!

Is It So Hard?

Is it so hard?
Is it truly a chore?
To give up pants to wear a long dress?
And let your hair grow down to the floor?
What’s so wrong with trading your diamond ring for a crown of righteousness?
Cant you see living for God is not so big a trail or a test?
Is there a good reason why you can’t part with the mascara and the red lipstick?
With the party life and the alcohol that in the morning has you sick?
Is t he movie theater that entertaining?
Is the ungodly music that wonderful to be around?
To miss the coming of the Lord and hear the glorious trumpet sound?
Is whining about our standards and separation from the world that wise?
When He never complained laying down His life as the ultimate sacrifice?
But for those who have their minds strongly made.
And understand the price Jesus Christ paid.
To those who would not be enticed by Satan but kept walking the narrow path.
They shall receive eternal life and escape the fiery wrath.
All the faithful, determined, and those who have overcome.
Shall hear the sweet sound of the Master saying, “Enter in, My child well done.”

America...Don't Be Deceived!

So yes, I will agree that today in fact is a Historical Moment for the United States of America. We have a new African American president and as I have said in an earlier blog he should be praised for that accomplishment. I am still not convinced though that the color of your skin should be the Main reason why anyone should be voted into the highest office in the Nation. I also would have to argue that just because you can make an emotional and uplifting speech does not per say make you a good leader.
There seems to be this feeling of Hope and Change in the spirits of the American people today. Washington D.C. as we all know was filled with spectators from near and far. I hate to be the pessimist and rain on their parade but America is deceived. The plummeting numbers of the stock market don't lie. Things are bound to get worse especially since we have just put a president in office who lacks experience and stands for morals that are corrupt. This is a nation that was built on a Christian foundation and now we are slowly forgetting our God. I know what the end of the Good Book says and this is just the beginning of sorrows. So brace yourselves! God is getting ready to come back and He is our only Savior!

I'm Waiting...

I'm waiting
I'm waiting maybe not patiently but...
I'm waiting on the Lord
Someday I am going to be united with the One God created me for.
But until that day I will not settle for anything less.
When God has promised if I seek Him He will give me the very best!
I know what I am looking for and although I may sound a little picky.
I realized I can never be with someone who I don't love and can't make me happy.

I won't date someone just because they happen to be there.
And play with their emotions and make them believe I actually care.
I want to be so in love that I can't even sit up straight.
Real consuming love that can only come from your soul mate.

I'm not in a rush to get married just because others think its time for me to.
I won't cave in to the pressure because it seems like the practical thing to do.
God has His own time table so I'm not interested in fitting the cookie cutter mold.
I'm after the will of God because its His hand I hold!

So until that day.
I will just be content living for God and going on my way.
I'll just keep waiting.
Waiting on the Lord!

To The Girl Who...

To the girl who didn’t get asked to the Christmas Banquet
or did not get a rose on Valentine’s Day,

To the girl who won't settle for second best
but keeps praying for the right guy to come and sweep her away,

To the girl that watches the “spiritual guys” flirt with the girls that wear their clothes too tight,

To the girl who refuses to wear the short skirts to get attention because she knows it isn’t right,

To the girl who won't lower herself to stalking and chasing a guy,

To the girl who passes on being the center of attention and settles for being a little shy,

To the girl with the personality that would make a guys head spin,

To the girl who waits patiently at a guy's heart's door but is never let in,
To the girl who is called smart, interesting, and cute - but never hot,
To the girl who was passed over for the "ditzy ones" and never forgot,
To the girl who refrained from kissing every guy she dated,
To the girl who won't ever allow a man to make her feel degraded,

To the girl who demands that every guy treat her with respect,
To the girl who doesn’t hide her face behind make-up because what you see is what you get,
To the girl that doesn’t pretend to be dumb just so some guy can feel smart,
To the girl who takes a stand for what she believes in and is true to her heart,

This is a tribute to all of you
Who don’t think anyone takes notice of all that you do,
All that you stand for
All that you are.
For those of you who still believe God is the author of love and He is watching,
Your prince is not very far.

Conqueors Conference

There Is a lot to say about Conqueors Conference. I'll have to come back and really go in depth. I just have to say that this year really did something for me in God that it had never done before. I see things differently now. My prayers are different now.