Thursday, March 17, 2011
As I drove down Speedway Blvd that Sunday evening the tears in my eyes seemed to slightly blurr my vision. The big sunglasses I was wearing all in alone in my blue mustang seem to conceal to everyone around me on the road that my heart was was exploding like a vicious volcano. I may have known the route to get to church that night but I had no idea where my life was going. I was in desperate need of something from God and I told the Lord I felt like He had forgotten about me. I have read the scriptures and I know in my mind that God could never leave His children but my heart and my deepest emotions were getting the best of me. I needed to know that God still had a plan for my life and that His arms were going to surround me in this time that I felt like things were at a stand still.
I guess we have all been there. We just need to know that everything will be okay and as I entered the presence of the Lord in my church sanctuary that night my longing for God to give me a word was intensifying. I realize we do not follow after signs and wonders but there is just something about distinctively knowing that God has spoken to You personally.
There was a missionary from Poland that night and I cannot say that I can even remember what the sermon was about or even if it really was a sermon. I remember the slideshows and I remember the little booth that was set up in the foyer. After the altar call was going I saw the missionary going and praying for people. I wanted him to come pray for me but he seemed to be busy praying for everyone else. I sat there as the end of the pew with my head bowed down as the congregation began to disperse. Then suddenly the missionary came and sat next to me. We started engaging in a conversation when he said to forgive him because God had told him to come pray for me but he just brushed it off and he couldn't avoid it anymore. He began to pray for me and his exact words were, "God sent me over here to tell you that He hasn't forgotten about you." Talked about God being direct! That missionary had no idea that a few hours earlier I was saying those exact words to God "You forgot about me!" What an encouragement that was to me and even though it was not my entire future revealed it was a reassurance!
I guess it would have been enough if I had just heard from that preacher that one night but in the course of the next few months there were 3 other preachers who have no connection to each other that used that exact phrase as they prayed for me. God wanted to make sure that I knew without a doubt that He hadn't forgotten about me or about the dreams and hopes that He had given me. No matter where He would lead me or come what may His grace would always be there holding my hand!
"Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49:16