Monday, February 22, 2010

Let God Choose

"I want the white one with the leather interior and heated seats and if I cant have that one I don't really care to get another car"

I was angry when these words started pouring out of my mouth without any regards to what I was putting my parents through or what I was truly saying. I was obviously stressed and not thinking rationally acting like a spoiled teenager. I needed a new car and there was no way around that. My old blue Mustang that I had owned since I was 17 wasn't safe for me to drive anymore. I didn't have a whole lot of money and my options were growing thin but all I could think about was that I wanted that White brand new Mustang. I had called dealer after dealer in the state of Arizona and even some in New Mexico and Nevada and this was the car that caught my eye and seemed for a moment within my reach. It was a lot more than what I was willing to pay but the dealer said he would do whatever it took for me to get it. Then after running all the numbers he let me know I didn't posses enough credit to sign for it myself. I was so crushed. I didn't want to get an older car with someone Else's problems. My parents said if I really had to have it they would sign for me. It just didn't seem fair though for them to do that. My mom was trying so hard to help me out but I just couldn't see any other options. I was so frustrated that I wasn't getting what I wanted.

I looked online one night and came across a 2009 Torch red Mustang with only 7k miles. I didn't want a red car but the price was amazingly cheap and even though I was super reluctant I emailed it to my mom and went to bed. The next day she handed me the pages with the information on the car. She said if you want it you need to call and make it happen. I was still so upset but I made the call and the next day I was driving to Tempe, AZ to trade in my car for this other one. After going over all the paper work we realized I could put this car in my own name and it was over a hundred dollars less a month then what I would have paid for the White one. The dealer was willing to give me far more money for my trade in than anyone else would which was simply unheard of. This car was still under warranty and had the all the things I wanted and needed minus the leather and the seat warmers. We drove home and I didn't know what to think at first. I felt like I was settling for second best and that wasn't the kind of person that I was even if it was just a car. This wasn't at all like me. I wasn't the kind of girl who just pitched a fit for just anything but I felt so strongly that if I didn't get the car that I wouldn't be happy. This was a huge commitment and it was something I was going to have to drive for years to come.

That night when I got home it started to sink in. I really did get an amazing car even if it wasn't Brand, Brand new. Even though I thought at the moment that I wanted a white car I realized that it was really too plain of a color for me. The bright red stood out and embraced my unique personality. I wanted the leather seats and the heater warmers but I didn't actually need those things I just thought I did. This car was what I could afford and sensibly live with. God knew what I needed even though I was too stubborn at first to let Him chose for me. I remember praying and telling God how sorry I was for being so blind and so childish. D = Draft more

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When all my friends saw my car they were all blown away by its beauty and when I tell them the story of how I ended up with it they all agree that God must have worked it all out for me to be so blessed with something so wonderful. I really am blessed and every time I climb in that car I am reminded of it again and again and I feel so foolish for trying to do things my way instead of God's. Even though we aren't good God is good all the Time!

I realize how many times we do this in our lives. We want something so bad because its all we can see at the moment. Our human eyes cant see the big picture. We want to hold on tight to the things we believe are suppose to be but often we find that we are wrong. Its only when we finally start to give in and let go that we realize God has so much better things for us then what we wanted for ourselves. God wont pry our hands open He just waits until our fingers began to surrender. Its not always pleasant when God takes away our dreams and hopes and they seem like they have vanished forever but the truth its its only because He is just about to make it come true. We may think we are settling for something less but in all reality we are getting the very best. We just have to let God chose.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Forgotten

Who are the Forgotten? Who are those people who wander in our Apostolic Circles unrecognized? Who are the ones who need the most love and the most compassion? Who are the ones who feel the most out of place and who feel as though words cannot properly define who they are? Who are the souls that everyone gives up on and hangs on a dusty has-been shelf? They I confess to you are the Singles.

No, I'm not talking about the ones who may have chosen wrong in marriage and whether it be their fault or not ended in divorce. I'm not talking about the ones who in the heat of the moment made a crucial mistake and conceived a child out of wedlock. God has a very special plan for their lives but I'm not an expert in that area so I'll just stick to what I know. I'm talking about the single people who just have been unlucky in love and finding "the One". Its as if they are being punished for taking the right path, waiting on God, and not settling. Its these guys and gals who every person who got married young races to give advice to about a subject they quite frankly know nothing about. "Just stop wanting someone so bad, focus on the Lord, and when you least expect it, it will happen". I'm afraid despite any ones imagination, that's not really how it works. Its depressing when you get the sentimental looks from people who think of you as broken and keep asking why on earth you are not married. It kind of makes you take a minute and ask yourself, "What on earth is really wrong with me?" So the singles have demolished the cookie cutter mold of the Apostolic way of being married by the age of 20 and that simply cant be acceptable! Its insane how most people believes this huge lie that married people are so much more mature and Super Spiritual than any single person could ever be even if they are maybe only 19 years old. It's as if you waking up to someone every morning makes you any of these things. I know its not all in my head because even if people wont actually say its true they certainly act like it is. O my! Talk about things that make you want to throw up!

An old friend from Bible College mentioned something to me the other day. She said that she felt it shallow for others to dismiss the fact that she is a college graduate, has spent time over seas helping missionaries, has many musical talents and other abilities, and has over all an amazing life and focus on the one thing that she isn't and that's married. Its as if all of her accomplishments don't mean a thing because she didn't take someone Else's last name. Its seems pretty cruel to only to define worth someone purely based on their marital status. I can't help but wonder what kind of message we are sending to our younger generation of Sunday School girls. Do we tell them you can do anything you set your mind to and do whatever God desires for you to do but above all get married because THAT is the biggest accomplishment of all times? ? Why do we put married woman on a pedal stool with dignity and respect but treat Singles like they are nobody? Single people have full filling lives traveling the world, being carefree, and doing whatever God desires them to do. That hardly sounds like a horrific life to me. The truth is the grass really Isn't always greener on the other side. Marriage is not the answer to all of our problems and its saddening to think that this is the only goal that some young ladies have for their lives.

I guess I should stop right here and say I am all for marriage and as sentimental as it may sounds I still believe that out there somewhere there is an amazing man that God has created for me. Sadly he hasn't found me yet but I believe that at the end of the day its much better to wait on God. So I'll keep waiting but there are so many things in the mean time I have to say and so many thoughts in my head that I don't think people realize. My mission is nothing more than awareness to The Forgotten so I'll carry on with my thoughts.

I wonder if anyone ever tried to give Jesus advice about dating. Oh my the man was 33 years old and Not married! Did someone ever ask the Apostle Paul why he wasn't married? Did the prophet Daniel get subject to the sad look and told he couldn't be part of the leadership in the church even though he was more than qualified only because he didn't have a gal hanging on his arm? Perhaps there are just people who are not meant to get married or simply don't want to get married? Now there is a concept! Does anyone dare ask Bro Stoneking why he isn't married??

We often tell our new converts that if we have the Lord we have everything. We even sing the song during worship service about "Jesus is all I need". So I started to think the other day. Do we really believe that? If we really believed that Jesus is all we need then there wouldn't be so much pressure for people to get married at such a young age. People could be married or not married and it wouldn't really matter. We would instead believe that truly a broken person is not someone who doesn't have a spouse but someone who does not have God in their lives. If we have the Lord we can face whatever the world throws our way. Just a thought...

I don't understand why God didn't just flat out arrange marriages so we would all be married by 20 and there would be no romantic drama. The sad reality is that it didn't happen that way. We just have to do the best we can and not treat our singles like they are little teenagers and tell them they just need to go to youth services and deal with it. There has to be more done. We are losing these people all the time and they are disappearing from our pews chasing dating prospects in the world. No one thinks to send them life preserver while they are sinking under feeling alone and misunderstood. "They just need to live for God!" Yes, Yes, I agree with that 110% but a little love and compassion would go a long ways.

I'm not really that cynical. I don't always feel this way and there are times when being Single doesn't bother me at all. It could be that you can't relate to anything I've said and that's okay. Everyone is different and we all live our lives in different circumstances. But sometimes its good to put out there whats in your heart and what concerns your mind. I seem to have found a blessing in not being married at the moment and as bizarre as it may sound that blessing is the gift of being able to relate to people that maybe others can't relate to. I'm not hating on married people. In all of this I still find comfort in the scripture in Romans 8:28 that’s says , “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according” to his purpose. If God blessed you and you were lucky enough to find a wonderful spouse that's great! I just wanted to point out that not everyone is always so lucky. We are all different and despite it God has a plan for all of our lives. I hope every single person find their soul mate and lives happily ever after. I believe that God knows all things and He is the one who created the institution of marriage. It helps at times to see the perspective of others who are never heard. I think sometimes we need to just be reminded about The Forgotten.