Wednesday, October 29, 2008

He Can't Lie

"I'm taking your life in a different direction once the school year is over at JCM. You wont be going back next year"

Those were the words that I felt God was etching in my Spirit as I earnestly sought His direction for my life in prayer. I had spend one glorious semester at Jackson College of Ministries in Jackson, Mississippi and I was just grateful to be able to go back after a summer of questions and confusion. That school year changed my life. It was the year that I was giving the opportunity to minister in ways that I had always dreamed of. The book that i had spent years writing finally got printed, I taught Spanish to my fellow students in a classroom, I traveled to churches giving my testimony, singing, and playing the piano, and I went overseas for the first time on a Missions Trip to England. Perhaps I was wrong and God didn't say those things to me. Could all this wonderfulness really be ending in May? I expressed my feelings to so many of my classmates and they simply didn't believe that I would not return the next year.

When May approached there was a shock wave that hit the college campus. JCM was closing due to lack of finances. None of us would be returning the next year. There were many, many tireless efforts that were made to try and keep the campus open but it was to no avail. It was truly and end of an era and even if I wanted to go back to JCM the next year, i had nothing to go back to.

I realized God's words were coming true and so I tried my best to see the silver lining. God had said He was taking my life in another direction and that must be a good thing right? I imagined my ministry becoming more prevalent and possibly meeting "the one", traveling to amazing places and just having a great life back at home in Tucson, Arizona.

It wasn't long after I arrived to the valley of the sun that things began to slowly fall apart. I had so many high expectations but found them all quickly crumbling in front of me. Within two years my brother got married and then divorced, my grandmother died, my uncle died, my aunt found out she had cancer and her husband died of cancer, I came down with pneumonia, found out I had a blood clot, my mother became ill and had to have two surgeries, something alarming happened to someone very close to me, and there were funerals left and right at our church. I felt helpless and so out of place. How could all this be happening after I had spent a year and a half on a cloud at bible college? Was it only in Mississippi that God was hearing my prayers?

Somewhere in the middle of all this tragedy I got it! God didn't lie to me because God CANNOT lie. He didn't say that my life was going to be a bed of roses once I got home and He didn't tell me that i was going to hit some rocky roads either. Had I been told all the pain I would face I would have gone crazy. God doesn't always tell us specifically what lies ahead in our lives. He just wants us know that no matter what He walks beside us.

"He hath made every thing beautiful in His time; also He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh fro mthe beginning to the end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Looking back I do not even have a clue how I made it sanely through those rough times. I do know that I am much stronger now and have an appreciation for my relatives and church family. It has brought us so much closer.

I still feel like i am walking in the dark some days but I know that the sun cant always hide. It has to come out eventually. I'm finding my way and finding my place in a church where i felt i didn't really belong anymore. I have established friendships that I had given up on. I have hope now. Its amazing what a little bit of that will do for you.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Restored Relationships

Have you ever had a friendship go sour and you wished that you could fix it but didnt know how? You knew you had forgiven and gone on but things just werent the same. Maybe you just figured that time would heal all things but, it didnt. Or maybe you just came to accept the fact that restoration with some people is not always possible. You pray for that person like the bible says you should and even flash them a Christian smile every now and then but to no avail. I have probably felt that way for a while now and lodged deep in the back of my mind were these burning questions. I'm not perfect and the Lord knows I have made more than my share of mistakes. I'm not an awful hateful person, at least I don't feel as though I am but, as time goes by people hurt you and you hurt people. It's a fact of life even if you dont mean to cause turmoil it comes up on occasion. As I have grown and matured in God I have desired for all those relationships that I felt had been damaged to be completely restored. I didnt just want to be OK with some people, I didnt wanted to just be more than OK, I wanted to be great. It dawned on me the other day that God HAD heard my insignificant and desperate prayer. Of course this took effort on my part, but the Lord supplied the opportunities. Slowly one by one things began to change. A smile turns into a greeting, a greeting into a conversation about mundane things, then finally something deeper takes turn in the conversation. I feel like I am closer to some people than I ever have been before. These relationships mean more to me now and have been such a blessing. It's surprising sometimes to see that when you reach out there seems to always be someone on the other side reaching back. Friends and family enrich our lives and are not to be taken for granted. Now I feel such a peace and thankfulness that things are the way they ought to be. Oh dont get me wrong for some things are not perfect but at least they are on the road to possibly being perfect. Glory be to God!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Good Guys

This poem is dedicated to my dearest Demeri Lay, Danielle Conner, Cesia Ramirez, and Vanessa Martinez. Hope we find a "Good Guy". Last but not least to my best example of a "good guy" PJ Conner! Love you guys!

This is my tribute to the good guys.
I know you are out there somewhere.
They are going about leading godly lives thinking no one gives a care.
Good guys, they are getting harder and harder to find.
I'm talking about the ones that don't flirt with you just to play with your mind.
Good guys are sincerely interested and listen to every word you say.
They dont talk to you and then decide to ignore you the very next day.
Good guys dont try to impress you by telling exaggerated lies.
They are honest with their feelings and express how you are the apple of their eye.
Good guys arent trying to juggle 5 girls at a time causing hurt in the name of fun.
They are seeking God in prayer knowing that for them there will only be one.
God guys dont think they are cool just because they can get the phone number of every pretty girl.
They arent so stuck on themselves that they believe they are God's gift to the world.
Good guys dont turn around and start talking to your best friend.
They never take advantage of a girl but always treat her like a true gentleman.
Good guys dont give sports and cars more attention than they give you.
When you are with them their focus is on everything you do.
Good guys watch silently as sweet girls choose foolishly to go for the bad boy.
Then they are there to pick up the pieces when she has been tossed aside like a toy.
Good guys are the shoulder to cry on when the world looks dim.
No matter how many times you treat him like dirt you know that you can always count on him.Good guys are not impressed with the young girls that are caught up in their own wordly vanity.
They want a girl who is holy both on the inside and out because that is what qualifies as real beauty.
A good guy looks across the aisle and falls in love with the way you worship the Lord.
He is always on his knees in prayer and never fails to read the word.
Good guys, dont give up on being strong.
There are lots of girls looking for you just dont make us wait too long.
Written by Lorraine M. Orozco

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Its been a long time

Soo..i have realized that i have neglected this beautiful blog spot of mine. I really need to get back with it. No one ever comments but who knows maybe someday someone will. I just wrote a new poem called "Good Guys" Im super psyched about it! I cant wait till the young girls at my church read it. It kinda describes a certain someone...hah..anyways. Life is okay. Its pretty mundane. I can say that our revival with Bro Golden has been a success. I just feel like right now we or I am kinda in a rut. Its like we have to get past this little snag because better things are around the corner. We have to press on. I just dont feel like pressing on. My mind is on other things that it probably shouldnt be on. I know. I'm to old and to wise to allow myself to get caught up in somethings. I suppose emotions and the heart do lead you a stray from time to time and thats kinda where i am. ughh.. Sometimes I ask myself.."Lorraine, have you completely Lost your mind!" Its a good question. Im not sure of the answer yet. I have to stay focused on Jesus. Its just so hard sometimes. Heaven is just too close. The financial markets are crashing, the elections are just around the corner. This country is in utter chaos and its about to hit the breaking point. I feel so overwhelmed at times. I just want to scream, hit something, hit someone. Ugh!! So now i know why they call this a blog. Thats exactly what i am writing just a bunch of blah stuff. Random, pointless blah. oh well!
P.S. I got to go to Old tyme camp meeting, be a counselor at senior camp again, disneyland & california adventure, and Az ladies retreat!