Ashley's Wedding...

So its already been almost 2 weeks since I went to Ashley Shirk now Haug's wedding in Plymouth, Indiana. I was one 10 bridesmaids and although it was suppper cold and it snowed I still had an amazing time! My dress as you will see was just beautiful. I am actually going to wear the dress again for the Conqueors Conference the beginning of January. I also got to see my other amazing JCM friend Ashley Bowman now Nutter from Louisiana. We hadnt seen each other for 3 1/2 years yet we picked up right where we left off. It was funny that we had the same kind of zebra pattern purse and black peacoat! Although I was a little bit anxious about this trip and had a couple of panicked moments everything worked out great! Praise God!

December 1st

Its really here... the month of December, it brings up emotions and baggage that I try so hard to keep hidden during the rest of the year. This is when it all comes out, the memories of the tradgety that distorted my life 25 years ago, the death of my grandmother, the stabbing and shooting of two of my cousins, the assault of someone close to me, and the many times I spent in the emergency room because of a chronic illness. I suppose I should be over it, I suppose I should have excepted a long time ago that this in fact is the reality of my life. Yet its still gets me every year like a bad rash that keeps coming back. Don't get me wrong I have the most amazing life and family. God has blessed me more that I could have imagined. Its just that as long as we live on this earth we will always have our issues and always have our sad days.

Sunday morning it took a lot of strength to keep myself from breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably as my Pastor preached. He was talking about how the lady with the issue of blood was healed on the way to healing Jarius' daughter. Jarius was probably getting impatient feeling like his daughters sickness was more important and that Jesus was taking his time making his way to his house. Yet the Lord knew exactly was he was doing and in His own time He found His way to that 12 year old girl who was now dead and breathed life back into her. Isn't that just how we are? We see everyone else getting their answer, everyone else gets their ministry and their blessing. Why can't Jesus just stop taking His time and touch my life? The clock is ticking and I'm not getting any younger. It doesnt make sense most of the time. No, I'm not talking about my healing. Not that I dont believe God can't heal my body after 25 years but I'm talking about the healing of my heart and Spirit. The ministry and purpose that I want so desperatly for God to allow to finally fall into place. I know God has His own time frame and His own way. Our thoughts are not His thoughts and our ways not His ways as the scripture in Isaiah reads.

Its going to be hard but I'm going to get through December. It may not be till after January but God is going to help me be okay!

Im Okay Now....

Ever since I moved back to Tucson from Jackson, Ms in May of 2005 I have desperately wanted to leave. I had come from the rich green South where God had done some awesome things in my life. I wanted so bad to go back to that wonderful place but now I was looking for an escape and released from so many haunting memories of the past. Tucson although it is where I was born and raised didnt seem to want to make peace with me. Here in the desert is where all of my hopes and dreams seemed to come to die. I just wanted to start all over again somewhere else, somewhere where no one knew who I was. I love my family very much but there just didnt seem like there was really a place or a purpose for me. Opportunity had come up but in prayer God let me know that I need to just stay put. I felt so confused and frustrated but I didnt feel like there was much for me to do.

I realized something the other day. I had come home late from a day with some of my most amazing church friends. We had went to the mall and then to Mamma's Pizza our new little hang out. We didnt do anything particularly significant but yet it was soo much fun. We laughed and laughed and that night while lying in bed it hit me that I would be so crushed if I ever had to leave Tucson. I had finally found friends that really loved me and were there for me unconditionally. They had been there all along I just had never thought to pull down the wall I had built around me. I learned to forgive and let go. It felt so great. I finally belonged and what a blessing! What a reason for Thanksgiving! Even when we arent good, God is Always good!

Disappointment

Sooo...the elections are over and we now have a new president elect. I knew that Obama would probably win the election with all the reports and news polls but I really had hoped that they were wrong. What are the people of this great country thinking to vote for a man with no morals, who thinks that he can negociate with terrorist, and its okay to kill unborn babies?!?!? Dont get me wrong I think its amazing that we have the first African-American president. It really was a historical day in America when i think of the civil rights movement of the 60's and the price that so many have paid to pave this road. We really have come a long way. I heard someone say this now makes it possible for the first Jewish president, the first Hispanic and Asian president, the first woman president, and then I heard them say the first homosexual president!!! That's when I freaked! I realized that it might actually be possible if the Lord tarries. I can't even imagine a day when a Gay person could be leading our nation. It seems that the United States of America has forgotten God and we are headed in that direction. I'm disappointed! Then there are moments when I am plain outraged! Of course I start to get a little red in the face when I heard that Governor Sarah Palin was the reason that John McCain lost the election. Palin was the best thing that could have happened to the GOP ticket!! No doubt she had her faults like any human being does. But really!!! Welll...we can only hope and pray that things turn around but the bigger news is that Jesus is Coming Soon!!! There isnt a whole lot of time left. These are the signs of the times!

The Holy Ghost Is All I Need!

God didnt give me a perfect smile or a winning physical appearance..
He didnt grant me the brain surgeon or the rocket scientist's intelligence.
I didnt get the bright eyes and the outgoing personality.
i didnt get the corner office job that pays the six figure salary.
God didnt bestow to me great fashion sense and style.
I didnt get blessed with the athletic ability to win the Olympic quarter mile.
I didnt recieve the talent to draw or paint something as grand as the Mona Lisa.
I'll never have a cooking show that can do anything more than order pizza.
I was not given the eloquence of a powerful political orator.
I'll never win a contest for being a tidy organizer.

Yet in all of my short comings there are a few things I know that I can be.
A bible study teacher that can point a lost soul to calvary.
An encourager that can uplift a heart who is experiencing untolerable grief and pain.
A prayer warrior who knows how to touch heaven when they call upon His Name!
A person of faith who can lay hands on the someone who isnt feeling well.
An altar worker who wont stop until a soul is saved from hell
A praise singer who refuses to sing unless its under God's annointing.
A person who can help usher in the presence of God with their praise and worshipping.
God gave me the precious gift of the Holy Ghost.
With that I can do anything and in the end isnt that what matters most?

He Can't Lie

"I'm taking your life in a different direction once the school year is over at JCM. You wont be going back next year"

Those were the words that I felt God was etching in my Spirit as I earnestly sought His direction for my life in prayer. I had spend one glorious semester at Jackson College of Ministries in Jackson, Mississippi and I was just grateful to be able to go back after a summer of questions and confusion. That school year changed my life. It was the year that I was giving the opportunity to minister in ways that I had always dreamed of. The book that i had spent years writing finally got printed, I taught Spanish to my fellow students in a classroom, I traveled to churches giving my testimony, singing, and playing the piano, and I went overseas for the first time on a Missions Trip to England. Perhaps I was wrong and God didn't say those things to me. Could all this wonderfulness really be ending in May? I expressed my feelings to so many of my classmates and they simply didn't believe that I would not return the next year.

When May approached there was a shock wave that hit the college campus. JCM was closing due to lack of finances. None of us would be returning the next year. There were many, many tireless efforts that were made to try and keep the campus open but it was to no avail. It was truly and end of an era and even if I wanted to go back to JCM the next year, i had nothing to go back to.

I realized God's words were coming true and so I tried my best to see the silver lining. God had said He was taking my life in another direction and that must be a good thing right? I imagined my ministry becoming more prevalent and possibly meeting "the one", traveling to amazing places and just having a great life back at home in Tucson, Arizona.

It wasn't long after I arrived to the valley of the sun that things began to slowly fall apart. I had so many high expectations but found them all quickly crumbling in front of me. Within two years my brother got married and then divorced, my grandmother died, my uncle died, my aunt found out she had cancer and her husband died of cancer, I came down with pneumonia, found out I had a blood clot, my mother became ill and had to have two surgeries, something alarming happened to someone very close to me, and there were funerals left and right at our church. I felt helpless and so out of place. How could all this be happening after I had spent a year and a half on a cloud at bible college? Was it only in Mississippi that God was hearing my prayers?

Somewhere in the middle of all this tragedy I got it! God didn't lie to me because God CANNOT lie. He didn't say that my life was going to be a bed of roses once I got home and He didn't tell me that i was going to hit some rocky roads either. Had I been told all the pain I would face I would have gone crazy. God doesn't always tell us specifically what lies ahead in our lives. He just wants us know that no matter what He walks beside us.

"He hath made every thing beautiful in His time; also He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh fro mthe beginning to the end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Looking back I do not even have a clue how I made it sanely through those rough times. I do know that I am much stronger now and have an appreciation for my relatives and church family. It has brought us so much closer.

I still feel like i am walking in the dark some days but I know that the sun cant always hide. It has to come out eventually. I'm finding my way and finding my place in a church where i felt i didn't really belong anymore. I have established friendships that I had given up on. I have hope now. Its amazing what a little bit of that will do for you.

Restored Relationships

Have you ever had a friendship go sour and you wished that you could fix it but didnt know how? You knew you had forgiven and gone on but things just werent the same. Maybe you just figured that time would heal all things but, it didnt. Or maybe you just came to accept the fact that restoration with some people is not always possible. You pray for that person like the bible says you should and even flash them a Christian smile every now and then but to no avail. I have probably felt that way for a while now and lodged deep in the back of my mind were these burning questions. I'm not perfect and the Lord knows I have made more than my share of mistakes. I'm not an awful hateful person, at least I don't feel as though I am but, as time goes by people hurt you and you hurt people. It's a fact of life even if you dont mean to cause turmoil it comes up on occasion. As I have grown and matured in God I have desired for all those relationships that I felt had been damaged to be completely restored. I didnt just want to be OK with some people, I didnt wanted to just be more than OK, I wanted to be great. It dawned on me the other day that God HAD heard my insignificant and desperate prayer. Of course this took effort on my part, but the Lord supplied the opportunities. Slowly one by one things began to change. A smile turns into a greeting, a greeting into a conversation about mundane things, then finally something deeper takes turn in the conversation. I feel like I am closer to some people than I ever have been before. These relationships mean more to me now and have been such a blessing. It's surprising sometimes to see that when you reach out there seems to always be someone on the other side reaching back. Friends and family enrich our lives and are not to be taken for granted. Now I feel such a peace and thankfulness that things are the way they ought to be. Oh dont get me wrong for some things are not perfect but at least they are on the road to possibly being perfect. Glory be to God!

Good Guys

This poem is dedicated to my dearest Demeri Lay, Danielle Conner, Cesia Ramirez, and Vanessa Martinez. Hope we find a "Good Guy". Last but not least to my best example of a "good guy" PJ Conner! Love you guys!

This is my tribute to the good guys.
I know you are out there somewhere.
They are going about leading godly lives thinking no one gives a care.
Good guys, they are getting harder and harder to find.
I'm talking about the ones that don't flirt with you just to play with your mind.
Good guys are sincerely interested and listen to every word you say.
They dont talk to you and then decide to ignore you the very next day.
Good guys dont try to impress you by telling exaggerated lies.
They are honest with their feelings and express how you are the apple of their eye.
Good guys arent trying to juggle 5 girls at a time causing hurt in the name of fun.
They are seeking God in prayer knowing that for them there will only be one.
God guys dont think they are cool just because they can get the phone number of every pretty girl.
They arent so stuck on themselves that they believe they are God's gift to the world.
Good guys dont turn around and start talking to your best friend.
They never take advantage of a girl but always treat her like a true gentleman.
Good guys dont give sports and cars more attention than they give you.
When you are with them their focus is on everything you do.
Good guys watch silently as sweet girls choose foolishly to go for the bad boy.
Then they are there to pick up the pieces when she has been tossed aside like a toy.
Good guys are the shoulder to cry on when the world looks dim.
No matter how many times you treat him like dirt you know that you can always count on him.Good guys are not impressed with the young girls that are caught up in their own wordly vanity.
They want a girl who is holy both on the inside and out because that is what qualifies as real beauty.
A good guy looks across the aisle and falls in love with the way you worship the Lord.
He is always on his knees in prayer and never fails to read the word.
Good guys, dont give up on being strong.
There are lots of girls looking for you just dont make us wait too long.
Written by Lorraine M. Orozco

Its been a long time

Soo..i have realized that i have neglected this beautiful blog spot of mine. I really need to get back with it. No one ever comments but who knows maybe someday someone will. I just wrote a new poem called "Good Guys" Im super psyched about it! I cant wait till the young girls at my church read it. It kinda describes a certain someone...hah..anyways. Life is okay. Its pretty mundane. I can say that our revival with Bro Golden has been a success. I just feel like right now we or I am kinda in a rut. Its like we have to get past this little snag because better things are around the corner. We have to press on. I just dont feel like pressing on. My mind is on other things that it probably shouldnt be on. I know. I'm to old and to wise to allow myself to get caught up in somethings. I suppose emotions and the heart do lead you a stray from time to time and thats kinda where i am. ughh.. Sometimes I ask myself.."Lorraine, have you completely Lost your mind!" Its a good question. Im not sure of the answer yet. I have to stay focused on Jesus. Its just so hard sometimes. Heaven is just too close. The financial markets are crashing, the elections are just around the corner. This country is in utter chaos and its about to hit the breaking point. I feel so overwhelmed at times. I just want to scream, hit something, hit someone. Ugh!! So now i know why they call this a blog. Thats exactly what i am writing just a bunch of blah stuff. Random, pointless blah. oh well!

P.S. I got to go to Old tyme camp meeting, be a counselor at senior camp again, disneyland & california adventure, and Az ladies retreat!

PWI: This trip was AMAZINNNGG!

I am back home in Tucson and still basking in the wonderful trip I had to St. Louis, Mo. I can't shake this happy feeling and it seems to show because people can just tell I am on a cloud. Okay...so..I went to St. Louis for Writers conference. I met some amazing people and made great connections. I passed out my new business card like hot cakes, I learned so much, and I came back with tons of inspiration. I already have a writing assignment! The maybe more on the horizon! In Jesus Name! I also got to display my book and got to shop at the bookstore myself for a nifty discount.

I recieved so many compliments on this trip from my article in Reflections Magazine to my thick long hair! Some people actually recongized me. It was a terrific feeling! I seriously went there with a bit of self doubt but I left there feeling self assured.

I also got to visit my dear sweet friend Brittany Lay. I went to her church Wednesday night and immediately fell in love with her pastors wife and pastor. I soon meet her friends who were so sincere and friendly. I was in awe to find that many of them were my age and older and Still not married. Imagine that! I felt soo at home and glad to know that not everyone in Pentecost is getting married at age 20. I wish i could have stayed their long and just maybe someday soon i will come back and hopefully have a reason for coming to..ha.! I was convinced to go to their Easter play on Friday night and have no regrets about that! The acting was first rate and overall very well done!

There is so much more to write but i wont. I am getting a little sleepy now and the truth is i wonder if anyone actually reads this blog other than me! HA. Well...i seriously need to just get my mind off of this trip and bring myself down to the reality of Tucson, Arizona. There is tons that needs to be done. Goodnight!

God Is So Great! I am soo blessed. I feel bad for ever complaining. Its a Wonderful Life! Thank you Jesus!

Its a good day!

Hi! Yes its March!! Spring is here. Its getting nice and warm in Tucson and i am loving it!

My article in Reflections magazine finally came out. I was sent 5 copys and thought they did a wonderful job in presenting it. I also had a talk with my Pastor and he was totally okay with me making up business cards to pass out to people who purchase my book. They are ordered and should be here in a couple of days, just in time for my trip to Pentecostal Writers Institute in St. Louis next Wednesday!! I also let him know that my goal is to eventually be a ladies speaker. He said he would pass the word out. So we shall see what will become of my dream!!

My website is finally up. It has the shopping cart working so you can actually purchase my book. It still needs work but at least it works. I have a new domain for it. Its http://www.lorrainem.com/ It has a guestbook on it too.

I also got to sing the other day at church. I felt like i was having a nerves break down the night before because i hadnt sang in so long. I figured maybe that isnt my calling anymore. Maybe i'm just not a singer anymore. But to my surprise God showed up that Sunday morning and blessed. So i guess i am still a singer! ha.

I have been thinking how i really need to go on a vacation. Not a church conference. Those are great and all but i need a real vacation. A vacation where i don't to get dressed up for church. I can just stay in my jean skirt and not do my hair. Just relax and have fun. So...who knows. Maybe i will get to do something like that with a little help from my friends!

I seems to have things figured out for writing my next book. I think i am going to call it either Broken Blessings or On the Battle Ground. I like them both. Plus i just bought the domain name On The Battle Ground.com. Dont know yet. The only really thing that is missing is my motivation to write the book. I have the time but dont feel like writing. I must make that a priority if i expect to have it out by General Conference in October in North Carolina. The Lord knows.

So scratch famousinbattle.com. its www.lorrainem.com

Too much time has gone by...

Its insane how much time has gone by since i have written anything in this blog. I think i forgot it exsisted for a while. Ugh..shame on me. Its almost Valentines day! Can you believe it? 2008 is very much in progress. But...here's whats been going on with me.

First of all, last month we have some incredible revival services with Bro Loammi Diaz. I dont say this often but he has been the best preacher our church has had in a long time. Our church really needed his ministry and God blessed each and everytime. Every message i couldnt help but weep and feel as God was rearranging and changing my life. There was just a depth in the Holy Ghost that made this revival so incredible. I personally felt encouraged and was given a new direction for my ministry. I had some conversations with our evangelist and I felt for a second that i was talking to Bro Cai Larsen. Bro Cai really believed in me. He believed that God really had given me everything i needed to do great things for the Lord. I guess its been a long time since someone has believed in me and has told me they see great potential for my life. I can't even express in words how much that meant to me.

I'm going to Pentecostal Writers Institute in St. Louis next month!! I am so grateful to the Lord for that because i have wanted to go for years but have never been able to go. I know i will leave there encouraged and strengthened. It will also give me the opportunity to network with other Pentecostal authors and get my name out there. I am hoping to present my exsisting book Famous In Battle and get some tips on writing my next one which i am thinking of titleing Broken Blessings.

Im still working at H & R block and there are somedays that i think i will pull all my hair out. Today God helped me. So far this week has been calmer.

I got some new glasses. I'm still getting used to them but i think they are a great updated look for me.

Im' back at working on my website for my book. check it out. its a work in progress.

www.famousinbattle.com

Hopefully i wont take so long to write next time! but...no promise..lol