This is for all my dear guy friends!
1. She has watched the Notebook 20 times and calls you her Noah
2. When you buy her flowers and she says “what do I do with them?”
3. If you are scared of her because she can really beat you up.
4. If you just met her at your therapy session group.
5. If she wears a size 13 shoe.
6. If her own dad tells you she is crazy.
7, If she tells her dog Pookie she loves him more times than she tells you.
8. If she calls and texts you more than 30 times a day.
9. If she breaks up with you on myspace or a text message then calls the next day saying she cant live without you.
10. If her X-boyfriends include a barber and a guy that looks like shrek.
11. If she makes you and Easter basket and leaves it on top of your car
12. If she is 30 and still doesn’t know how to drive.
13. If she makes you a pillow.
14. If she calls someone her best friend and that person is not even aware they are friends.
15. If she stalks you by show up at your church unannounced.
16, If you met her on Friday and by Wednesday she is talking about marriage.
17. If her favorite song is “I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry.
18. If she suddenly decides to buy a mini van.
19. If she circles around your block at 2am hoping you will come outside.
20. If she tells you its the will of God for you two to be together.
21. If she bakes you a pie that she is allergic to just to prove her baking skills
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
What Broke My Heart
Have you ever been brokenhearted? I know everyone has been there at one time or another. But I wonder has your heart ever exploded in so many jagged tiny pieces that you asked yourself if it was too broken for even God to repair? I would have never imagined that this thought would have entered my mind but not too long ago it did.
I've been through a lot of things in my life, possibly more than most people my age. I was hit my car at age 3 and have spent the last 26 years of my life in a wheelchair. I've undergone many physical challenges and have sat at death's door on numerous occasions. I've had my fair share of people that I have loved pass away and although God has blessed me beyond measure I have to say it’s been a tough road. Despite everything that has happened I have never lost my faith in God. Yes, I've doubted God like every human being I know but in the end I knew God would see me through.
So what happened you ask that I would dare allow my merger mind to question if my broken heart was too broken for God? Well, its may sound very pathetic and even a little silly but I will tell you anyway. The man that I believed with all my heart that I would marry married someone else. No, this wasn't some little girl crush on some guy that I just saw from a distance at a youth rally. This was something I felt with all my heart was the will of God. I had prayed and I had fasted and no one on the face of the earth fit into my life the way he did. If I divulged my entire heart to you and told you the entire story all you would probably say was "Wow!" You would look at me with total agreement that this was "The One". There were those emails, talks on the phone, and other things that just made sense. It was in fact an incredible story with things that after a while could not be called coincidence. It seemed that the hand of God orchestrated this love story. It all appeared logical and even though there were doubts I believed against hope that someday this man and I would grow old together.
Then I got the word of his engagement. It just seemed wrong and I kept reminding God that He had made this promise to me and His word says He can't lie. I prayed and I fasted because I wanted to believe that this was all some big mistake and that at the end of the day I would be standing at that altar with him and not her. I told God that His word says that He is not the author of confusion. Everything that God had ever whispered to my heart came true. God had told me that I would go over seas before I turned 25 and although it seemed like it wouldn't happen it did! I went to England 3 months before my 25Th birthday. God had told me I would teach Spanish at the bible college the next school year and sure enough that Summer I got a call asking me to teach. God had told me that I was going to be at Bible College till May of 2005 and although I lost some of my financing and came inches to leaving the school, God came through and I stayed. There were all these promises and God stayed true to His word so I was holding God to this promise just the same.
He got married. Talk about feeling like someone just punched you in the stomach knocking the wind right out of you. It was over. My dream that I had waited for so long to happen didn't happen to me it happened to someone else. I felt like God had failed me. I know the bible says that God can't fail so I didn't understand. I had lived for God almost my entire life but never had my faith been shaken to its very core the way it did that day. I began to doubt every promise and every dream I had felt God had given me. I wanted to run. I wanted to go to get on a plane and go half way around the world and start my life over. I wanted to disappear. What was I going to do? What was next for my life? For the first time when I thought of my future all I saw was this big empty black hole.
I talked to my friend from Bible College and I told her I needed to get away. I wish it really had been half way around the world but instead I drove 4 hours to Las Cruces, New Mexico. I didn't have anything left. All I had was a ministry that God had given me and I needed to know if that still existed or if it was dead like my dream of marriage. I had to get peace from God or I felt if I didn’t I would just burst.
When I was 13 years old I felt like God had told me that one day I was going to be a speaker at ladies conference. I had written a book about my life called Famous In Battle a few years back and with it came opportunities to speak at churches. Every time I would sing, play the piano, and minister with my testimony I felt like I was in the will of God. I hadn't spoken at a church for five year since I had left Bible College. It was something that sort of died when I came home to Arizona but I still felt it was there. With all that had happened I needed to be reminded that God still had a plan for my life. That even though my heart was hanging on to life-support that God was still going to use me.
So here was I was scared out of my mind on a Sunday morning at a church I had never been too. My mom had insisted on coming with me because my friend had bailed on me at the last minute. The first song during the song service was You Have Turned My Morning Into Dancing. I felt for a second that God had whispered into my ear that my heart would not always be broken. Some tears formed in my eyes as I felt a warmth come over me and my nervousness melted away. Then the pastor announced for me to come up and speak. I took the microphone and I began to read my scripture in Corinthians about the thorn in Paul's side and how the Lord said, "My grace is sufficient for thee and made perfect in your weakness." I told how a car hit me at age 3 and how God used that accident to bring my family to church. I told them how God had been good to me and about all the things in ministry I was involved in. I told them that I had learned to be content in whatsoever state I am in. I told them that this life is only temporary that even if I never walk again that one-day I will walk on streets of God. Then I sang my song In the Presence of Jehovah and I could see the tears in my mom’s eyes as she saw me minister in a way she had never seen me before. After I was done the preacher preached and mentioned how that what I had spoken was so line with his message that morning. Then something came alive in me. It was Hope. I had just unleashed all of my hopes and dreams in a cold casket and had laid them to rest beneath 6ft of dirt. But then suddenly if I focused hard enough I could hear a heart beat. My ministry was still alive and for that I was eternally thankful. Although I still came home to Arizona as single as I've ever been I held inside me something more important. God had begun to restore my faith. God had reminded me that it wasn't over and that my life had purpose. Before that day my mortal mind could not even fathom the possibility that one day my heart would be made whole again. I felt as though I would live the rest of my life feeling broken and undone inside.
The truth is I may never understand why I didn't marry the man I identified for years as my soul mate. It still doesn't really make sense to me but I know that God has His reasons and He knows the future. I suppose that's all I really need to know!
I've been through a lot of things in my life, possibly more than most people my age. I was hit my car at age 3 and have spent the last 26 years of my life in a wheelchair. I've undergone many physical challenges and have sat at death's door on numerous occasions. I've had my fair share of people that I have loved pass away and although God has blessed me beyond measure I have to say it’s been a tough road. Despite everything that has happened I have never lost my faith in God. Yes, I've doubted God like every human being I know but in the end I knew God would see me through.
So what happened you ask that I would dare allow my merger mind to question if my broken heart was too broken for God? Well, its may sound very pathetic and even a little silly but I will tell you anyway. The man that I believed with all my heart that I would marry married someone else. No, this wasn't some little girl crush on some guy that I just saw from a distance at a youth rally. This was something I felt with all my heart was the will of God. I had prayed and I had fasted and no one on the face of the earth fit into my life the way he did. If I divulged my entire heart to you and told you the entire story all you would probably say was "Wow!" You would look at me with total agreement that this was "The One". There were those emails, talks on the phone, and other things that just made sense. It was in fact an incredible story with things that after a while could not be called coincidence. It seemed that the hand of God orchestrated this love story. It all appeared logical and even though there were doubts I believed against hope that someday this man and I would grow old together.
Then I got the word of his engagement. It just seemed wrong and I kept reminding God that He had made this promise to me and His word says He can't lie. I prayed and I fasted because I wanted to believe that this was all some big mistake and that at the end of the day I would be standing at that altar with him and not her. I told God that His word says that He is not the author of confusion. Everything that God had ever whispered to my heart came true. God had told me that I would go over seas before I turned 25 and although it seemed like it wouldn't happen it did! I went to England 3 months before my 25Th birthday. God had told me I would teach Spanish at the bible college the next school year and sure enough that Summer I got a call asking me to teach. God had told me that I was going to be at Bible College till May of 2005 and although I lost some of my financing and came inches to leaving the school, God came through and I stayed. There were all these promises and God stayed true to His word so I was holding God to this promise just the same.
He got married. Talk about feeling like someone just punched you in the stomach knocking the wind right out of you. It was over. My dream that I had waited for so long to happen didn't happen to me it happened to someone else. I felt like God had failed me. I know the bible says that God can't fail so I didn't understand. I had lived for God almost my entire life but never had my faith been shaken to its very core the way it did that day. I began to doubt every promise and every dream I had felt God had given me. I wanted to run. I wanted to go to get on a plane and go half way around the world and start my life over. I wanted to disappear. What was I going to do? What was next for my life? For the first time when I thought of my future all I saw was this big empty black hole.
I talked to my friend from Bible College and I told her I needed to get away. I wish it really had been half way around the world but instead I drove 4 hours to Las Cruces, New Mexico. I didn't have anything left. All I had was a ministry that God had given me and I needed to know if that still existed or if it was dead like my dream of marriage. I had to get peace from God or I felt if I didn’t I would just burst.
When I was 13 years old I felt like God had told me that one day I was going to be a speaker at ladies conference. I had written a book about my life called Famous In Battle a few years back and with it came opportunities to speak at churches. Every time I would sing, play the piano, and minister with my testimony I felt like I was in the will of God. I hadn't spoken at a church for five year since I had left Bible College. It was something that sort of died when I came home to Arizona but I still felt it was there. With all that had happened I needed to be reminded that God still had a plan for my life. That even though my heart was hanging on to life-support that God was still going to use me.
So here was I was scared out of my mind on a Sunday morning at a church I had never been too. My mom had insisted on coming with me because my friend had bailed on me at the last minute. The first song during the song service was You Have Turned My Morning Into Dancing. I felt for a second that God had whispered into my ear that my heart would not always be broken. Some tears formed in my eyes as I felt a warmth come over me and my nervousness melted away. Then the pastor announced for me to come up and speak. I took the microphone and I began to read my scripture in Corinthians about the thorn in Paul's side and how the Lord said, "My grace is sufficient for thee and made perfect in your weakness." I told how a car hit me at age 3 and how God used that accident to bring my family to church. I told them how God had been good to me and about all the things in ministry I was involved in. I told them that I had learned to be content in whatsoever state I am in. I told them that this life is only temporary that even if I never walk again that one-day I will walk on streets of God. Then I sang my song In the Presence of Jehovah and I could see the tears in my mom’s eyes as she saw me minister in a way she had never seen me before. After I was done the preacher preached and mentioned how that what I had spoken was so line with his message that morning. Then something came alive in me. It was Hope. I had just unleashed all of my hopes and dreams in a cold casket and had laid them to rest beneath 6ft of dirt. But then suddenly if I focused hard enough I could hear a heart beat. My ministry was still alive and for that I was eternally thankful. Although I still came home to Arizona as single as I've ever been I held inside me something more important. God had begun to restore my faith. God had reminded me that it wasn't over and that my life had purpose. Before that day my mortal mind could not even fathom the possibility that one day my heart would be made whole again. I felt as though I would live the rest of my life feeling broken and undone inside.
The truth is I may never understand why I didn't marry the man I identified for years as my soul mate. It still doesn't really make sense to me but I know that God has His reasons and He knows the future. I suppose that's all I really need to know!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Let God Choose
"I want the white one with the leather interior and heated seats and if I cant have that one I don't really care to get another car"
I was angry when these words started pouring out of my mouth without any regards to what I was putting my parents through or what I was truly saying. I was obviously stressed and not thinking rationally acting like a spoiled teenager. I needed a new car and there was no way around that. My old blue Mustang that I had owned since I was 17 wasn't safe for me to drive anymore. I didn't have a whole lot of money and my options were growing thin but all I could think about was that I wanted that White brand new Mustang. I had called dealer after dealer in the state of Arizona and even some in New Mexico and Nevada and this was the car that caught my eye and seemed for a moment within my reach. It was a lot more than what I was willing to pay but the dealer said he would do whatever it took for me to get it. Then after running all the numbers he let me know I didn't posses enough credit to sign for it myself. I was so crushed. I didn't want to get an older car with someone Else's problems. My parents said if I really had to have it they would sign for me. It just didn't seem fair though for them to do that. My mom was trying so hard to help me out but I just couldn't see any other options. I was so frustrated that I wasn't getting what I wanted.
I looked online one night and came across a 2009 Torch red Mustang with only 7k miles. I didn't want a red car but the price was amazingly cheap and even though I was super reluctant I emailed it to my mom and went to bed. The next day she handed me the pages with the information on the car. She said if you want it you need to call and make it happen. I was still so upset but I made the call and the next day I was driving to Tempe, AZ to trade in my car for this other one. After going over all the paper work we realized I could put this car in my own name and it was over a hundred dollars less a month then what I would have paid for the White one. The dealer was willing to give me far more money for my trade in than anyone else would which was simply unheard of. This car was still under warranty and had the all the things I wanted and needed minus the leather and the seat warmers. We drove home and I didn't know what to think at first. I felt like I was settling for second best and that wasn't the kind of person that I was even if it was just a car. This wasn't at all like me. I wasn't the kind of girl who just pitched a fit for just anything but I felt so strongly that if I didn't get the car that I wouldn't be happy. This was a huge commitment and it was something I was going to have to drive for years to come.
That night when I got home it started to sink in. I really did get an amazing car even if it wasn't Brand, Brand new. Even though I thought at the moment that I wanted a white car I realized that it was really too plain of a color for me. The bright red stood out and embraced my unique personality. I wanted the leather seats and the heater warmers but I didn't actually need those things I just thought I did. This car was what I could afford and sensibly live with. God knew what I needed even though I was too stubborn at first to let Him chose for me. I remember praying and telling God how sorry I was for being so blind and so childish. D = Draft more
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When all my friends saw my car they were all blown away by its beauty and when I tell them the story of how I ended up with it they all agree that God must have worked it all out for me to be so blessed with something so wonderful. I really am blessed and every time I climb in that car I am reminded of it again and again and I feel so foolish for trying to do things my way instead of God's. Even though we aren't good God is good all the Time!
I realize how many times we do this in our lives. We want something so bad because its all we can see at the moment. Our human eyes cant see the big picture. We want to hold on tight to the things we believe are suppose to be but often we find that we are wrong. Its only when we finally start to give in and let go that we realize God has so much better things for us then what we wanted for ourselves. God wont pry our hands open He just waits until our fingers began to surrender. Its not always pleasant when God takes away our dreams and hopes and they seem like they have vanished forever but the truth its its only because He is just about to make it come true. We may think we are settling for something less but in all reality we are getting the very best. We just have to let God chose.
I was angry when these words started pouring out of my mouth without any regards to what I was putting my parents through or what I was truly saying. I was obviously stressed and not thinking rationally acting like a spoiled teenager. I needed a new car and there was no way around that. My old blue Mustang that I had owned since I was 17 wasn't safe for me to drive anymore. I didn't have a whole lot of money and my options were growing thin but all I could think about was that I wanted that White brand new Mustang. I had called dealer after dealer in the state of Arizona and even some in New Mexico and Nevada and this was the car that caught my eye and seemed for a moment within my reach. It was a lot more than what I was willing to pay but the dealer said he would do whatever it took for me to get it. Then after running all the numbers he let me know I didn't posses enough credit to sign for it myself. I was so crushed. I didn't want to get an older car with someone Else's problems. My parents said if I really had to have it they would sign for me. It just didn't seem fair though for them to do that. My mom was trying so hard to help me out but I just couldn't see any other options. I was so frustrated that I wasn't getting what I wanted.
I looked online one night and came across a 2009 Torch red Mustang with only 7k miles. I didn't want a red car but the price was amazingly cheap and even though I was super reluctant I emailed it to my mom and went to bed. The next day she handed me the pages with the information on the car. She said if you want it you need to call and make it happen. I was still so upset but I made the call and the next day I was driving to Tempe, AZ to trade in my car for this other one. After going over all the paper work we realized I could put this car in my own name and it was over a hundred dollars less a month then what I would have paid for the White one. The dealer was willing to give me far more money for my trade in than anyone else would which was simply unheard of. This car was still under warranty and had the all the things I wanted and needed minus the leather and the seat warmers. We drove home and I didn't know what to think at first. I felt like I was settling for second best and that wasn't the kind of person that I was even if it was just a car. This wasn't at all like me. I wasn't the kind of girl who just pitched a fit for just anything but I felt so strongly that if I didn't get the car that I wouldn't be happy. This was a huge commitment and it was something I was going to have to drive for years to come.
That night when I got home it started to sink in. I really did get an amazing car even if it wasn't Brand, Brand new. Even though I thought at the moment that I wanted a white car I realized that it was really too plain of a color for me. The bright red stood out and embraced my unique personality. I wanted the leather seats and the heater warmers but I didn't actually need those things I just thought I did. This car was what I could afford and sensibly live with. God knew what I needed even though I was too stubborn at first to let Him chose for me. I remember praying and telling God how sorry I was for being so blind and so childish. D = Draft more
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When all my friends saw my car they were all blown away by its beauty and when I tell them the story of how I ended up with it they all agree that God must have worked it all out for me to be so blessed with something so wonderful. I really am blessed and every time I climb in that car I am reminded of it again and again and I feel so foolish for trying to do things my way instead of God's. Even though we aren't good God is good all the Time!
I realize how many times we do this in our lives. We want something so bad because its all we can see at the moment. Our human eyes cant see the big picture. We want to hold on tight to the things we believe are suppose to be but often we find that we are wrong. Its only when we finally start to give in and let go that we realize God has so much better things for us then what we wanted for ourselves. God wont pry our hands open He just waits until our fingers began to surrender. Its not always pleasant when God takes away our dreams and hopes and they seem like they have vanished forever but the truth its its only because He is just about to make it come true. We may think we are settling for something less but in all reality we are getting the very best. We just have to let God chose.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Forgotten
Who are the Forgotten? Who are those people who wander in our Apostolic Circles unrecognized? Who are the ones who need the most love and the most compassion? Who are the ones who feel the most out of place and who feel as though words cannot properly define who they are? Who are the souls that everyone gives up on and hangs on a dusty has-been shelf? They I confess to you are the Singles.
No, I'm not talking about the ones who may have chosen wrong in marriage and whether it be their fault or not ended in divorce. I'm not talking about the ones who in the heat of the moment made a crucial mistake and conceived a child out of wedlock. God has a very special plan for their lives but I'm not an expert in that area so I'll just stick to what I know. I'm talking about the single people who just have been unlucky in love and finding "the One". Its as if they are being punished for taking the right path, waiting on God, and not settling. Its these guys and gals who every person who got married young races to give advice to about a subject they quite frankly know nothing about. "Just stop wanting someone so bad, focus on the Lord, and when you least expect it, it will happen". I'm afraid despite any ones imagination, that's not really how it works. Its depressing when you get the sentimental looks from people who think of you as broken and keep asking why on earth you are not married. It kind of makes you take a minute and ask yourself, "What on earth is really wrong with me?" So the singles have demolished the cookie cutter mold of the Apostolic way of being married by the age of 20 and that simply cant be acceptable! Its insane how most people believes this huge lie that married people are so much more mature and Super Spiritual than any single person could ever be even if they are maybe only 19 years old. It's as if you waking up to someone every morning makes you any of these things. I know its not all in my head because even if people wont actually say its true they certainly act like it is. O my! Talk about things that make you want to throw up!
An old friend from Bible College mentioned something to me the other day. She said that she felt it shallow for others to dismiss the fact that she is a college graduate, has spent time over seas helping missionaries, has many musical talents and other abilities, and has over all an amazing life and focus on the one thing that she isn't and that's married. Its as if all of her accomplishments don't mean a thing because she didn't take someone Else's last name. Its seems pretty cruel to only to define worth someone purely based on their marital status. I can't help but wonder what kind of message we are sending to our younger generation of Sunday School girls. Do we tell them you can do anything you set your mind to and do whatever God desires for you to do but above all get married because THAT is the biggest accomplishment of all times? ? Why do we put married woman on a pedal stool with dignity and respect but treat Singles like they are nobody? Single people have full filling lives traveling the world, being carefree, and doing whatever God desires them to do. That hardly sounds like a horrific life to me. The truth is the grass really Isn't always greener on the other side. Marriage is not the answer to all of our problems and its saddening to think that this is the only goal that some young ladies have for their lives.
I guess I should stop right here and say I am all for marriage and as sentimental as it may sounds I still believe that out there somewhere there is an amazing man that God has created for me. Sadly he hasn't found me yet but I believe that at the end of the day its much better to wait on God. So I'll keep waiting but there are so many things in the mean time I have to say and so many thoughts in my head that I don't think people realize. My mission is nothing more than awareness to The Forgotten so I'll carry on with my thoughts.
I wonder if anyone ever tried to give Jesus advice about dating. Oh my the man was 33 years old and Not married! Did someone ever ask the Apostle Paul why he wasn't married? Did the prophet Daniel get subject to the sad look and told he couldn't be part of the leadership in the church even though he was more than qualified only because he didn't have a gal hanging on his arm? Perhaps there are just people who are not meant to get married or simply don't want to get married? Now there is a concept! Does anyone dare ask Bro Stoneking why he isn't married??
We often tell our new converts that if we have the Lord we have everything. We even sing the song during worship service about "Jesus is all I need". So I started to think the other day. Do we really believe that? If we really believed that Jesus is all we need then there wouldn't be so much pressure for people to get married at such a young age. People could be married or not married and it wouldn't really matter. We would instead believe that truly a broken person is not someone who doesn't have a spouse but someone who does not have God in their lives. If we have the Lord we can face whatever the world throws our way. Just a thought...
I don't understand why God didn't just flat out arrange marriages so we would all be married by 20 and there would be no romantic drama. The sad reality is that it didn't happen that way. We just have to do the best we can and not treat our singles like they are little teenagers and tell them they just need to go to youth services and deal with it. There has to be more done. We are losing these people all the time and they are disappearing from our pews chasing dating prospects in the world. No one thinks to send them life preserver while they are sinking under feeling alone and misunderstood. "They just need to live for God!" Yes, Yes, I agree with that 110% but a little love and compassion would go a long ways.
I'm not really that cynical. I don't always feel this way and there are times when being Single doesn't bother me at all. It could be that you can't relate to anything I've said and that's okay. Everyone is different and we all live our lives in different circumstances. But sometimes its good to put out there whats in your heart and what concerns your mind. I seem to have found a blessing in not being married at the moment and as bizarre as it may sound that blessing is the gift of being able to relate to people that maybe others can't relate to. I'm not hating on married people. In all of this I still find comfort in the scripture in Romans 8:28 that’s says , “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according” to his purpose. If God blessed you and you were lucky enough to find a wonderful spouse that's great! I just wanted to point out that not everyone is always so lucky. We are all different and despite it God has a plan for all of our lives. I hope every single person find their soul mate and lives happily ever after. I believe that God knows all things and He is the one who created the institution of marriage. It helps at times to see the perspective of others who are never heard. I think sometimes we need to just be reminded about The Forgotten.
No, I'm not talking about the ones who may have chosen wrong in marriage and whether it be their fault or not ended in divorce. I'm not talking about the ones who in the heat of the moment made a crucial mistake and conceived a child out of wedlock. God has a very special plan for their lives but I'm not an expert in that area so I'll just stick to what I know. I'm talking about the single people who just have been unlucky in love and finding "the One". Its as if they are being punished for taking the right path, waiting on God, and not settling. Its these guys and gals who every person who got married young races to give advice to about a subject they quite frankly know nothing about. "Just stop wanting someone so bad, focus on the Lord, and when you least expect it, it will happen". I'm afraid despite any ones imagination, that's not really how it works. Its depressing when you get the sentimental looks from people who think of you as broken and keep asking why on earth you are not married. It kind of makes you take a minute and ask yourself, "What on earth is really wrong with me?" So the singles have demolished the cookie cutter mold of the Apostolic way of being married by the age of 20 and that simply cant be acceptable! Its insane how most people believes this huge lie that married people are so much more mature and Super Spiritual than any single person could ever be even if they are maybe only 19 years old. It's as if you waking up to someone every morning makes you any of these things. I know its not all in my head because even if people wont actually say its true they certainly act like it is. O my! Talk about things that make you want to throw up!
An old friend from Bible College mentioned something to me the other day. She said that she felt it shallow for others to dismiss the fact that she is a college graduate, has spent time over seas helping missionaries, has many musical talents and other abilities, and has over all an amazing life and focus on the one thing that she isn't and that's married. Its as if all of her accomplishments don't mean a thing because she didn't take someone Else's last name. Its seems pretty cruel to only to define worth someone purely based on their marital status. I can't help but wonder what kind of message we are sending to our younger generation of Sunday School girls. Do we tell them you can do anything you set your mind to and do whatever God desires for you to do but above all get married because THAT is the biggest accomplishment of all times? ? Why do we put married woman on a pedal stool with dignity and respect but treat Singles like they are nobody? Single people have full filling lives traveling the world, being carefree, and doing whatever God desires them to do. That hardly sounds like a horrific life to me. The truth is the grass really Isn't always greener on the other side. Marriage is not the answer to all of our problems and its saddening to think that this is the only goal that some young ladies have for their lives.
I guess I should stop right here and say I am all for marriage and as sentimental as it may sounds I still believe that out there somewhere there is an amazing man that God has created for me. Sadly he hasn't found me yet but I believe that at the end of the day its much better to wait on God. So I'll keep waiting but there are so many things in the mean time I have to say and so many thoughts in my head that I don't think people realize. My mission is nothing more than awareness to The Forgotten so I'll carry on with my thoughts.
I wonder if anyone ever tried to give Jesus advice about dating. Oh my the man was 33 years old and Not married! Did someone ever ask the Apostle Paul why he wasn't married? Did the prophet Daniel get subject to the sad look and told he couldn't be part of the leadership in the church even though he was more than qualified only because he didn't have a gal hanging on his arm? Perhaps there are just people who are not meant to get married or simply don't want to get married? Now there is a concept! Does anyone dare ask Bro Stoneking why he isn't married??
We often tell our new converts that if we have the Lord we have everything. We even sing the song during worship service about "Jesus is all I need". So I started to think the other day. Do we really believe that? If we really believed that Jesus is all we need then there wouldn't be so much pressure for people to get married at such a young age. People could be married or not married and it wouldn't really matter. We would instead believe that truly a broken person is not someone who doesn't have a spouse but someone who does not have God in their lives. If we have the Lord we can face whatever the world throws our way. Just a thought...
I don't understand why God didn't just flat out arrange marriages so we would all be married by 20 and there would be no romantic drama. The sad reality is that it didn't happen that way. We just have to do the best we can and not treat our singles like they are little teenagers and tell them they just need to go to youth services and deal with it. There has to be more done. We are losing these people all the time and they are disappearing from our pews chasing dating prospects in the world. No one thinks to send them life preserver while they are sinking under feeling alone and misunderstood. "They just need to live for God!" Yes, Yes, I agree with that 110% but a little love and compassion would go a long ways.
I'm not really that cynical. I don't always feel this way and there are times when being Single doesn't bother me at all. It could be that you can't relate to anything I've said and that's okay. Everyone is different and we all live our lives in different circumstances. But sometimes its good to put out there whats in your heart and what concerns your mind. I seem to have found a blessing in not being married at the moment and as bizarre as it may sound that blessing is the gift of being able to relate to people that maybe others can't relate to. I'm not hating on married people. In all of this I still find comfort in the scripture in Romans 8:28 that’s says , “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according” to his purpose. If God blessed you and you were lucky enough to find a wonderful spouse that's great! I just wanted to point out that not everyone is always so lucky. We are all different and despite it God has a plan for all of our lives. I hope every single person find their soul mate and lives happily ever after. I believe that God knows all things and He is the one who created the institution of marriage. It helps at times to see the perspective of others who are never heard. I think sometimes we need to just be reminded about The Forgotten.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Attention all Pentecostal Conferences Goers!
So I want to know if we can make a list of all the different Pentecostal Conferences going on this year. I for one need to broaden my horizons and got to some new ones. Does anyone know of anything going on in March in New Mexico or Colorado in March? I'll be headed in that direction then. I would love it if some of you would post names of conferences their locations and dates for the year. I think it would be helpful unless anyone knows already.
Conqueors Conference in Tucson,Az is the last week of December.
~Lorraine
Conqueors Conference in Tucson,Az is the last week of December.
~Lorraine
Monday, January 11, 2010
Its a New Year!
Its insane how 2010 kinda of creeped up on us. I think I'm still in denial that this will be there year that I turn the huge and horrid big 3-0! Is this really real? I dont feel a day past 23!I dont know exactly how I feel about all these monumentus events that will be bestowed by 2010. My youngest brother is moving out into his own home in a few days and although I know I will see him often it still remain bittersweet.
I got my wheelchair finally and I have to say that my mother was probably more excited than I was. Its taken a while for me to get used to it.
My dearest friend Sarah from bible college came and spent a few days with me and that was great. We had so much to talk about and I'm know there were topics we didnt even get a chance to touch. Its was nice having someone here who knows that part of me that hardly anyone really understands. JCM was a huge part of my life and probably some of my most memorable days were spent there.
There is so much more to say and hopefully I will get back and write more and try to be a bit more consistant about blogging. Life has a way of catching up to you and taking you for a loop when you least expect it.
I got my wheelchair finally and I have to say that my mother was probably more excited than I was. Its taken a while for me to get used to it.
My dearest friend Sarah from bible college came and spent a few days with me and that was great. We had so much to talk about and I'm know there were topics we didnt even get a chance to touch. Its was nice having someone here who knows that part of me that hardly anyone really understands. JCM was a huge part of my life and probably some of my most memorable days were spent there.
There is so much more to say and hopefully I will get back and write more and try to be a bit more consistant about blogging. Life has a way of catching up to you and taking you for a loop when you least expect it.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Absence from my blog!
The last time I blogged was about my new car back in August. I took it this weekend for the first time out of town to Phoenix. Roxxie ran like a champ and my friends and I had blast at the Sansom's installation service and afterwards at Cheesecake Factory.
My life lately has consisted of trying to get a new wheelchair, trying to find a job while filing for unemployment, late night rounds of bejeweled on Facebook, and trying to quiet the drama that is my life these last few months.
Tonight Brother Mark Brown preached from South Dakota and although I cant quote to you very much of his interesting sermon I can tell you what I got from God at the altar call. My Facebook status reads: "Never let anyone make you feel inferior because of what you look like, what your family last name is, what your current relationship status is set to, how much money you have in your bank account , for the position or title that you may or may not have, or for the number of candles on your birthday cake this year. There are no orphans of God. He loves everyone equally!" There are many times when I have allowed others to make me feel bad about my life. I've allowed them to make me feel like a failure or feel as though I would never be good enough to do anything great in God's kingdom. I decided to rebuke that thought and not let people's cold words or actions dictate how I feel about myself. It isn't important how other's see me, whats important is how God seems me! When Samuel and other's saw merely a shepherd boy God saw a great King! Its not over till its over!
My life lately has consisted of trying to get a new wheelchair, trying to find a job while filing for unemployment, late night rounds of bejeweled on Facebook, and trying to quiet the drama that is my life these last few months.
Tonight Brother Mark Brown preached from South Dakota and although I cant quote to you very much of his interesting sermon I can tell you what I got from God at the altar call. My Facebook status reads: "Never let anyone make you feel inferior because of what you look like, what your family last name is, what your current relationship status is set to, how much money you have in your bank account , for the position or title that you may or may not have, or for the number of candles on your birthday cake this year. There are no orphans of God. He loves everyone equally!" There are many times when I have allowed others to make me feel bad about my life. I've allowed them to make me feel like a failure or feel as though I would never be good enough to do anything great in God's kingdom. I decided to rebuke that thought and not let people's cold words or actions dictate how I feel about myself. It isn't important how other's see me, whats important is how God seems me! When Samuel and other's saw merely a shepherd boy God saw a great King! Its not over till its over!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The New Car!
Since I was 16 years old I had always dreamed about owning a Mustang. My parents both owned them when they met. Mom's first car was a '68 green Mustang and my dad owned a blue '65 Mustang. My mother sold her car to her brother and my dad to buyer out of the classifieds. Years later my uncle gave my brother Eddie mom's car back and he has been restoring it ever since. I remember my dad trying his sense of humor on me one Christmas by giving me a minature Mustang radio as a present. Finally a few weeks before I graduated from High School I bought a beautiful V6 Atlantic blue Mustang with light gray interior. I was 17 and could not believe I had a car but not just any car, the car of my dreams in my favorite color. I can still see my mom taking canola oil from the kitchen and anointing it and praying that God would protect me in it. I drove that car for 11 years and in the 3 accident I had none of them were serious and I left without a bruise. I took that car with me to the University and to Bible College in Jackson, Mississippi. My friends and I did many road trips to New Orleans, Memphis, and on chorale trips to Alabama. I cried a lot tears in that car when I felt like my heart had just been squashed. I prayed a lot of prayers while that CD player blasted out my favorite choir tunes. I had many serious conversations with friends and a tons of laughs that I will probably remember as long as I live. There were many late night fast food runs and trips to Starbucks for Passion Iced Tea Lemonade when I felt stressed. It was a faithful car and had its battle scars to prove its loyalty. It never had a major break downs until just a few months ago. Things just started snowballing and after awhile I almost didnt feel safe driving it. I had to get another one.
After going to a dealership here in Tucson, searching online, and talking on the phone with salesmen in frustration I finally found her. I named her Roxxie when I went to pick her up at the dealership in Tempe. Roxxie was a bright lips stick red 2009 Mustang with the same gray interior as my blue one. As my old car and my new car sat next to each other on the parking lot I couldnt help but feel so blessed. God knew what I needed and what I could afford. After 11 years I was getting another car that I was just as crazy about as my first one. It was still bittersweet driving off with my window down seeing my blue car quickly leaving my range of sight but it was a new day and time for a change!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Seriously?!?! Is it already August??!?!
It's insane how 2009 is more than half way over! I am really am thankful because God has been good and is doing great things in the lives of my family members and at Faith Tabernacle Church. As of a few weeks ago I started playing the piano in Spanish Church. I think I always kind of figured that I would just be someone who would teach others to play the piano and not really play myself. It seems that God has other plans and I am excited about being used in God's kingdom. I believe there are going to be many souls won in our Spanish Ministry and I dont think it will be very long till we have a blow out service just like we do in the main sanctuary on Sundays!!
I have been having such a great time hanging out with my older church friends. We have been going to starbucks in the middle of the week and just talking and laughing till after midnight. I can't thank God enough for the wonderful friends He has put in my life!
I'm still writing my book and am believeing it will be finished soon. I know its what God wants me to do its just been an uphill battle. I believe this will be the key to unlock the will of God in my life. I just have to finish doing my part. There are a lot of changes about to take place in our church that will affect a lot of us but I pray they are good changes and everything works out for the best! The future is bright because Jesus Christ our Saviour is the Light!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Happy Birthday To Me!
So I survived my 29th Birthday Monday! Can you believe it? 29!!!! Its just insane! No doubt I am thankful to have had such an amazing life but most of all to have Almighty God be in it! I really am blessed to go to such a great church and have such thoughtful friends. A couple of us got together at the house and had some pizza and cake. It was last minute but it turned out great.
Last week was Arizona District Sr Camp. I was a counselor again for the third year in a row. Bro Darin Sargent preached and it really felt this year like I was 16 again back when I was a camper. It was a tradition it seemed that every year at camp there was at least one night when God would move so strongly that the preacher wouldnt get to preacher. Monday was the first service and God moved so strongly that Bro Sargent almost didnt preacher. Then later on that week God completely took over and ministered to so many. This year in particular I felt like my needs were being met and I was being ministered. It seemed like every service there was something inside of me that just felt like crying and pouring out my soul to the King of Glory. There were so many fun times too like the night us counselors silly stringed the girls in the dorm. So far this 2009 Senior Camp goes down as being the best so far.
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