Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Im Okay Now....
Ever since I moved back to Tucson from Jackson, Ms in May of 2005 I have desperately wanted to leave. I had come from the rich green South where God had done some awesome things in my life. I wanted so bad to go back to that wonderful place but now I was looking for an escape and released from so many haunting memories of the past. Tucson although it is where I was born and raised didnt seem to want to make peace with me. Here in the desert is where all of my hopes and dreams seemed to come to die. I just wanted to start all over again somewhere else, somewhere where no one knew who I was. I love my family very much but there just didnt seem like there was really a place or a purpose for me. Opportunity had come up but in prayer God let me know that I need to just stay put. I felt so confused and frustrated but I didnt feel like there was much for me to do.
I realized something the other day. I had come home late from a day with some of my most amazing church friends. We had went to the mall and then to Mamma's Pizza our new little hang out. We didnt do anything particularly significant but yet it was soo much fun. We laughed and laughed and that night while lying in bed it hit me that I would be so crushed if I ever had to leave Tucson. I had finally found friends that really loved me and were there for me unconditionally. They had been there all along I just had never thought to pull down the wall I had built around me. I learned to forgive and let go. It felt so great. I finally belonged and what a blessing! What a reason for Thanksgiving! Even when we arent good, God is Always good!