Thursday, February 19, 2009

Soo..all this talk about being single..has me thinking!

I went to Mimi's with a young couple after church tonight. We always have interesting conversations. It usually involves the latest of who is interested in who and what couple is finally dating. I of course at this moment am as single as a dollar bill and it doesnt help right now that my heart was crushed recently. Still, I have always felt like if I just trust God and wait on Him that He will bring the right person into my life. Well, I have my thoughts that you should marry the person that God wants for you because if you don't you could really mess things up. I don't believe a minister can just marry anyone or at least I don't think a minister should. My friends are of the opinion that no matter if you make a mistake and marry someone out of the will of God that somehow He can fix it and it can be just fine. I understand that and I believe that God can correct our mistakes but if that is necessarily true does that mean I can just marry anyone and it will be okay? What is the point of waiting on God for the right one? Have I just wasted my time? I don't know. It just throws my brain in complete overload. I suppose that's why God wrote in Isaiah that His thoughts are not our thoughts neither are our ways His ways. Soo..I've heard people with different opinions and still may never make sense of it all. But if you think you might have a good explanation please enlighten me!


Janell said...

My pastor's wife, Sis Wilson, has always said there's the Will of God, and then there's the Perfect Will of God. If you wait on Him for His perfect will, you're life will be so much more fulfilling than if you try to take control and create your own answers. Yes, we need to be ambitious in life as the Bible says whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.
But seeking God daily for direction, and waiting for His choice rather than our own guarantees a more fulfilling life, and truer happiness.
I've certainly found this to be true in my own life. Don't settle for second-best! :)

Kathy McElhaney said...

I could give you many examples of people that did not wait for God's best, but I will give you the one closest to me - my parents. My mom was raised in the church, but my dad was not. They met in college and ended up getting married. They were married 40 years before my mom lost her battle to cancer. My dad is now 70 years old and has never lived for God. They had 4 children, 2 lived for God, 2 do not.
I've commented on your blog before that I waited until I was 27 to marry and I do not regret waiting for God's best. My marriage is BLESSED!

Bekki said...

I agree with you, Janelle and Kathy.

I have been told multiple times that I should be out looking for a mate, and heard "Why don't you date him?" "He would be a nice guy..." so many times.

I tell people this: I am not worried about 'finding' someone. God knows who He wants me to marry and in HIS time, it will happen.

I catch a lot of flak for this. Last year I was involved with someone and we thought about taking our relationship to the 'dating' level. (Which for me, means that I would consider marrying this person.) We prayed about it, and decided that it wasn't the best thing for us. So many of my friends criticized our choice to pray about dating each other: they thought it was overkill.

In that area of my life, I am willing to 'overkill' something if it means waiting on God and praying about every decision. I do not want to make a mistake in something that I consider is irreversible.

Marie said...

I have always believed that God is in Control of all things. The Bible says, ask and you shall receive! pastor Garrett always said to us young people pray to God what we want in a husband or wife and God will supply. Our time is not God's timing... But I believe God WILL give what your heart so desires... I love you Lori, God knows.. and I believe he will grant you a faithful, husband~

Mary Frances said...

My not so humble opinon on the matter...;) Okay, so it is true, God can work out all the quirks, but, that is ONLY if both people are willing to work it out. I have watched many marriages in the church not work themselves out. It is often thought that marriage will change a person, but it doesn't! As, Bro. Dorian Myers told our youth group, when I was 14, "If Bob has alligator breath before you get married, Bob will still have alligator breath after you get married." I remember one time Sis. Ikerd told all of us girls better be careful about who we marry. In fact I believe she even said something along the lines that girls almost need to be even more careful about who they marry than guys. Because as a woman, whatever God has called that man to do, now becomes his wifes calling as well. His calling becomes our calling, because a woman was made to be his helper. The bible says that the woman was made FOR the man, not the man for the woman. If you feel like God has given you a special calling in life, then as a woman you better make sure you marry someone with that has that same calling, otherwise your gonna be miserable. I remember my life before God called me to the African kids. To be honest, before them getting married was a lot simpler. Now things are different, now I am trusting in God more, and relying on him to work it all out. It's like I was talking to one of my friends on the phone the other day. We were talking about her boyfriend and somehow we got on the subject of if there was any cute guys in his church. And my friend was like well when I go out there to visit I will see if there are any guys in his church that I can hook you up with. So of course I was like totally excited and exuberant about the matter. Like totally screaching and bouncing up and down and more!!! HAHA! But then I was like WAIT! He lives all the way across the country, there is NO WAY i am moving over there. My friend was like well thats the way it is when you get married, you where the guy is. I said, I know, I totally agree with that, and that is why I can't leave because I feel called to where I am right now. If I leave what will happen to all those kids God led me too? My friend was like yeah I can just see you telling some guy that proposes to you okay, now there is just one thing I want to let you about before we get married and I move across the country, I have about 20 wild, African refugee kids that come with me...HAHA!! Could you imagine?!?! LOL Before the kids, things were different for me. There was a time in my life when I was ready to move to another state to be with the man that I loved. But things have changed for me. It's not because willing to leave my family and friends to be with the man I love. It's because God gave me a burden, a calling and I want to be in His will. I remember a preacher's wife saying that, "you will never be happy, unless you are doing what God has called you to do." I don't want marry someone unless I can put my WHOLE heart into it. I have watched friends that I grew up with get married, have kids, get divorced, then get remarried again and here I am still single. But I am okay with that. I would rather be single and in the will of God, then married and not in His will. This an excerpt from Brio: One More Thing...
Girls, here’s my prerequisite for marriage (and this is assuming we’re both Christians): It’s not simply “Are we in love?” because we can be in love with the wrong person, and we can fall in love with more than one person. It’s understood that we’ll be in love, or we wouldn’t be thinking about marriage, right?
My prerequisite is, “Can this man and I together do more and be more for God than we can separately?” If not, I shouldn’t even consider marrying him"(Brio).

So as for me, Mary, I am content being single, until God brings me to the one that I can do more for God than without!!!

Okay well this really long Lorraine, but YOU ASKED for it!!! LOL Tell me whatcha think!!! ;)